The curtamous page
February 2008 Archived Notes
February
18, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Happy President's Day! You know I must be getting old... Today is President's Day, I have the day off, and what am I doing? Updating the web site... I should be out bunny hunting this morning, but you know what? After that crappy snowstorm yesterday, I just don't have the energy to get out there... Like everyone, I spent a couple hours dealing with the ice and snow from yesterday, and to be honest, I just don't feel like slogging through 3 feet of snow to track down a bunny... Getting old sucks...
So what AM I doing today? Well, updating the web site, starting my taxes, working on the newsletter, and getting my oil changed. Oh, and our course, working... Some knucklehead from offshore called me at 6am to report an outage. I DON'T CARE!!! Will it never end? But of course, I'm my own worse enemy. As soon as I logged in to start the update, I checked email and started work stuff. ENOUGH!
With the storm yesterday and no football, I had time to spend in my shop. I trimmed out the last window and touched up the paint and for the most part, its done. The whole shop is done! Oh there is tons of stuff left to do... Shop lights, work benches, shelving, etc, but the shop itself is done! Looks OK too... Kinda proud of it in fact. Now we have to break it in with the annual Fish Camp meeting... Gotta get that scheduled too...
The last Denville regular season B-Ball game was rescheduled on Friday night (Thursday was cancelled by more freaking snow). Ran down to New Lundon for the game and was darn glad I did. NL shot lights out in the first half and Denville kept up for a little while but then it got ugly... REALLY ugly... Down at 18 at the half and as much as 20 overall... Then something happened... Not sure what it was... Part was starting "Andy" in the second half, and he had the game of his life... They pressed and it worked... They managed to tie the game late in the 4th and took it to overtime and won it going away. What a great game! Well worth the $20 in gas, ticket, and time it took to get there... (Of course, it started snowing on the way home...) Congrats boys. Good luck in the tournament!
Here's the schedule for everyone...
18 Spenta Armaiti (Zoroastrian). Ancient hippy festival.
Jug wine.
19 Lee Marvin’s Birthday (1924). Drink like a man, goddamn you. Bourbon from the bottle.
20 Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day. At high noon everyone yells “Hoodie-Hoo” to chase away winter and usher in spring.
Crazy Swede
1 oz ouzo
1 oz vodka
1 tblsp cinnamon schnapps
Shake with ice, strain, shout Hoodie-Hoo and shoot.
21 Polaroid Camera introduced (1947). Drunken foolishness now readily transferable to bar walls.
Shot of Beam while flipping the bird.
22 National Margarita Day. Gee, what shall we drink? Margarita.
23 Terminalia (Roman). Celebration of the Roman God of Boundaries, superceding the Feast of That God Who Collected Oddly Shaped Rocks.
The Terminator
1 1/2 oz Rumple Minze
1 1/2 oz black sambuca
Half fill shot glass with Rumple, top off with sambuca.
24 Flight of Kings Feast (Roman). Chase your boss down the street with a stick. Little Kings Cream Ale.
Hmmm... Doesn't look like I'm missing much this week... woohoo!
OK, this one is rated R, which I generally tend to avoid on the web site, but its just too funny not to post...
A widowed Jewish lady was sunbathing on a beach at Boca Raton. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and begun reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
"Hello sir, how are you today?"
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away two years ago," he replied and turned back to his book.
"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely" she countered. Do you live around here?" she asked
"Yes, I live over in Boca West," he answered, and again resumed reading.
Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?
With that, the man dropped his book, jumped on to her, pulled off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life.
When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that's what I wanted?"
He replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?
Supposed to be heading to Madison tomorrow but now it looks like that is all messed up due to hardware not showing up on time. Now I might not make it down there at all... which kinda bites... So instead Tuesday I'll have meetings... Wednesday is CCD night... Thursday the boss is in town and Thursday night we have Mass for Ma, Pa, and the boys... Friday is a big day with the SEC-Transportation's Coin Shower... all of a sudden it will be the weekend again. Whew!
Next week I'm in Tampa all week, so don't expect an update... but you never know...
Well, that's it... on to bigger and better things for the day... But before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles." -- Doug Larson
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
February
11, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Happy Monday Night! No, its not time for Monday Night Football... that's long gone and in the past... We
get to wait for months and months before any more meaningful football... So why so late on the update? Well, I'm still in town thankfully, but it was a long day after an even longer weekend... Came down with the flu and spent the entire weekend feeling terrible... Didn't really do anything until halftime of the ProBowl... Yes, that's how bad it was. I watched the ProBowl... Actually,
the game wasn't too bad...
The worse part of it all, other than feeling really crappy, was I had the chance to head north with The President this weekend. He called late last week and said he wasn't going ice fishing but was heading north to check the cabin and get the snow off the porch and roof... I was all fired up to go, and Saturday morning I was drenched in sweat and knew it wasn't going to happen... Word from The Lodge is that he went anyway as the porch was cleared and there were tracks in the driveway. Also from The Lodge; The Gizzards were great Friday night!
Well, how about that Superbowl? I can honestly say I haven't enjoyed a Superbowl like that since the Pack beat up on the Patsy's... What a great win! I kept waiting and waiting and waiting for the other shoe to drop and the Patsy's would find a way to squeeze it out in the end, but the refs kept the flags in their pockets and lady luck was sick of their crap... So sweet! Here's to the Pack there next year!
How about we jump right into our schedule? Yeah, with Lent and all, I was going to skip this section, but why should everyone suffer?
11 Empire Day (Japan). Yeah, maybe next time,
Tojo.
Kamikaze.
12 Charles Darwin’s Birthday (1809). Celebrate the genius who made monkeys of us all..
Dirty Monkey
1 1/2 oz Irish cream
1 oz Dark rum
1 1/2 oz Cognac
Mix in order. Do not stir. Serve in brandy snifter.
13 Oliver Reed’s Birthday (1938). His check still hangs on the wall of the Malta bar where he drank nearly two bottles of rum and 20 pints with British sailors. Old Navy Rum.
14 St. Valentine’s Day. Patron saint of kidney disease and, uh, romantic stuff.
Champagne at a fancy restaurant or whiskey sours with your cat.
15 National Sea Monkey Day. I am not making this up. Brass Monkey.
16 The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks was formed from The Jolly Corks, a drinking society. If my uncle’s behavior is any indication, the only thing they changed was the name.
Jagermeister.
17 Feast of Fools (Ancient Rome). Take your friends to dinner, then pretend to have forgotten your wallet.
Expensive wine.
Did I mention Lent is rough?
TWO MONKEY drinks this week??? Well, if pickled eggs are on the menu on the 16th,
I guess I'm better off...
Hey, speaking of Lent, what's up with Anderson eating gizzards on Friday? Maybe the bishop gives special dispensation for Gizzards north of 64?
Today would have been my brother Chuck's birthday... Hopefully there IS beer in heaven, and he's having one tonight!
Got my turkey permit this week... May 15-18... That's not a very good draw, is it? Oh well, I'll get out a little bit at least... Wonder when Zumbo will be having his Turkey Seminar...
Denville B-Ballers wrap up the regular season this week before heading to tournament play... See the FM for any insights...
Here's one I just remembered getting... Good one to remind you to Be On Time!
Retirement Dinner
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation were chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner.
He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here."
"I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife; taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister."
I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'.....
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.'
Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE
Sounds like someone we all know... :-)
Well, its nap time here... Plum tuckered out... Next Monday is President's Day
(Another day in honor of Bob!) and I hope to do a little bunny hunting... But already they are trying to get me to travel to Mad-Town for work... the following week I've been asked to spend in Tampa... So who knows when (or if) you'll hear from me again...
As always, no promises, but before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it." --Anonymous
Happy St. Valentines Day!
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
February
3, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Happy Sunday! Yes, its Sunday afternoon and I'm at the kitchen table writing this as I wait for the Superbowl to get started. I KNOW I'm not going to get to work on this in the morning so I figured I better get this out before I hear more whining from the
masses... OK, one person isn't the masses, but I digress...
What am I up to? I've been working on the BBC newsletter!!! Go figure... This work stuff has me too busy to get any quality time allocated, so I'm actually going to have to do it on my OWN TIME!!! What is this world coming too? Well, I have stuff
formatted and some content input, but a lot of my resources are in my office, so I won't get 'er done today. I wouldn't anyway, but it would have been nice to get a bigger chunk done... At this rate I can delivery it personally at Fish Camp!!!
Speaking of Fish Camp 2008, its time to start thinking about it. I had hoped to get the annual meeting in early since Lent starts next week, but that doesn't look like it will happen. We may have a different location this year (The SEC-State and FDA Chair can fill you in on that...) so we'll have a lot to discuss at this year's meeting. Looking at the calendar we'll have to meet during Lent, so I'll have to contact the bishop for another special dispensation again... He doesn't buy the "clear" liquid concept every year...
Can you believe its the Superbowl already? After the debacle at Lambeau I was pretty put off of football, but deep down I really don't want it to end... In a month the only thing worth doing on Sunday afternoons will involve napping... Hey, that's not so bad...
Not much else going on that I can think of... The Denville B-Ballers lost a heart breaker on Friday night to the top team in the conference... It was really a good game though and it was too bad a questionable call with 3 seconds left contributed to the loss, but it was a well played game and extremely exciting to watch.
This week's schedule?
4 The Bacardi Distillery is founded in Cuba (1862). There’s a bat on the label because bats would pass out in the distillery’s vats.
Bacardi and Coke.
5 Bob Marley Day (Jamaica). Time to touch base with your weedhead buddies. Red Stripe.
6 Ash Wednesday
7 Lent...
8 Lent...
9 Lent...
10 Lent...
So much for that fun segment... Well, I started early for tomorrow's special... SEC-W/M called last night and paged me to a local establishment... Rum & Coke was on the menu... Funny how quickly a tall rum and coke and get you going...
Here's a little something from the Jack/Ass team... I'll try to use it in the workplace with my new responsibilities...
Here is a 3-Minute Management Course for everybody:
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "
It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders, in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there!
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the 3-minute management course, thanks for your participation.
A little
racy for my PG rated site, but points well taken...
Funny story from my sister, Zumbo's beautiful bride, with a good ending... She called yesterday morning thanking me for her birthday present from 2 weeks ago. If you remember, it snowed heavily that night so she called for a ride as Zumbo was out of town. Of course I agreed, but it messed me up as I was going to pick her
gift up on my way in. So instead, I stopped at the local gas station and got her lottery tickets... Lame, right? Oh well, its the thought that counts... Anyway, she won $500 on those tickets!!! Woohoo! So it was agreed that Zumbo was to thank... if he hadn't gone out of town (on her birthday no less), she wouldn't have called me for a ride, and I would have gotten her something stupid instead of lame lottery tickets that won her $500! Way to go Zumbo!!!
Well, its getting closer to game time, so I'm going to sign off... I hope everyone has a great week! Not sure when the next update will come as I have "tentative" travel plans for the next two weeks... Probably won't happen, but they try to keep my life exciting...
Hey, I just checked my calendar and there's a couple of important dates... Wednesday would have been my brother Chris's 51st (I think) birthday... Friday the 8th of February is another momentous day... Oh boy... 23 years...
The 9th will be 2 years since Ma Nelson left us...
Hope I didn't miss anything else...
As always, before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -- Joe Theismann
Now doesn't that sounds just like something you'd hear from a junior member? Go
Gi-Ants!
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
Last Updated: Monday, April 06, 2009
Page Hits