The curtamous page
August 2007 Archived Notes
August
20, 2007 - Jak se maj!!! Howdy folks! Beautiful
rain we're having isn't it? About 2.1" in Denville over the weekend! (I have a new rain
gauge) Kinda caused some issues with outdoor activities, but it was MUCH needed and very welcome...
The biggest disappointment with the weather was the cancellation of racing on Saturday night. Not only was the "Faster Pastor" race
postponed, but it was also to be Bob's Buckcamp Night at the Races... We'll see what gets re-scheduled, but its pretty darn late in the season...
I got the trim and caulking done on the porch before the rain started this weekend, so that's pretty much done. Thank God!!! I still have work to do out
there (painting, etc), but the flooring is pretty much done and its back to where it was, except now my beautiful bride
shouldn't fall through...
With the rain, my thoughts returned to work on the shop. I finished the trim and headed to the depot for paint. I cleared the color with my better half because I have no talent for that at all. I finished the ceiling late last night and it looks OK, but it might be too dark. Better than the all white, but we'll see...
What's on schedule this week?
20 National Homeless Animals Day. If activists tied a bottle of scotch around every stray’s neck, they would all be adopted immediately. And named Lucky.
Lucky Lager.
21 National Forgiveness Day. Good day to test the endurance of those 86s. Whatever you can get away with.
22 Dorothy Parker’s Birthday (1893). “I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.”
At least four martinis.
23 Anniversary of the Death of William “Braveheart” Wallace. When they cruelly drag you out of the pub, make sure you roar, “Freedom! Freedom!”
Scotch.
24 Festival of Vulcan and the Nymphs (Roman). Vulcan was a forerunner of Hef. Jello shot.
25 Sean Connery’s Birthday (1930). The one true Bond. Martini.
26 Woman’s Equality Day. Let the ladies pick up the tab. Top shelf.
Wow, not ONE but TWO martini days... this week is looking good...
Turns out the car repair last week was nothing... probably a loose gas cap... So WHY in the name of heaven does the damn Check Engine light have to go on when the gas cap is loose? Is there a technical reason is should be tight or do they just want to drive everyone crazy?
Here are some general ramblings I got from Jack/ASS a month or two ago... Titled "Dinner Plans" for some reason, but its kinda funny...
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!) The BBC could be a power plant)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Pork, the other "White Meat"...
Tonight I get to fill in for the Sausage Stuffer at a township zoning meeting. He and his family are on their yearly "Mystery Trip" and couldn't get back in time, so I'm going to fill in... This'll cost him... Assuming of course I don't screw it up...
Actually, this week will probably suck as I'm "on call"... With all the new structure and
reorganizations at work, I have no idea who is who and what is what, so it'll be ugly... But, the week will end with our annual
church picnic on Sunday. The FDA Chair will again be cooking booyah, so it should be a good time. I typically feel very "tired" the next day...
No one contacted me and requested a copy of the email concerning Jack/Ass's new hunting partner... Doesn't anyone read this drivel anymore? Come on...
Well, that's it... Before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members... Probably used before, but this is timeless advice...
"If you find yourself in a hole, first thing to do is to stop diggin'." -- unknown
That one some of the "Senior" members could take to heart as well...
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
August
13, 2007 - Jak se maj!!! Good morning! Its bound to be a great week, right?!?! Last week
definitely had its ups and downs...
The week started out with the dog getting sick. Well, that escalated into a $300 vet bill to diagnose a digestive issue just like she had last year. After a week of babying her, she seems to be back on the mend. She better be for that kind of money...
The porch continues to haunt me. I painted it and of course one coat doesn't do it. Not even close. My plan was to get a good first coat on and then put on a second in fall. Now I may need 4 coats. I went to put on the second coat last night and the damn storm on Saturday night blew stupid little flower petals all over it, and they stuck and stained it, so I had to wash the darn thing... Too humid to dry quickly, so now I'll attempt to second coat it tonight... I heard there's rain in the forecast. I may burn it.
To top everything off, the "check-engine" light is on in the wife's car, so I heard all about that not to mention the bill I'll be getting. Lovely... But I think that's it for the low lights... On to the high lights!!!
Tuesday was the annual golf outing at Hilly Haven for work. Excellent time despite the
oppressive humidity that day. Can't beat a half day off of work, free golf, open tabs and a good cookout. I was tired the next day... :-)
I
wonder if the FM had his golf outing yet?
My beautiful bride headed west to the Mall of America Thursday/Friday, so even though my bank accounts took a serious hit, we're still putting that in the good column...
Friday evening had me headed north for the Annual Gutzman Booyah Bash. Nice ride up there, but on a side note, the tornado damage north of Mountain is still incredible.
Unbelievable what a storm that had to be to cause that kind of damage... Anyway, great time at the Gutzman Beach House. The camp fire was tough though as I tried to personally reenact the Rum Rebellion of 1869. Slept in the truck in honor of Mr. Rick too. To top it off, the FDA Chair made one of his best batches of booyah ever, despite my queasy stomach. Nice time and I even got home early, only to find more issues there, but we won't get into that... Lets just say it involved another trip to Green Bay and leave it at that...
Since I seem to be in a pattern of misbehavior, lets seem what I can get into this week...
13 Don Ho’s Birthday (1930). Patron saint of fat drunk guys in loud Hawaiian shirts.
Tiki drinks.
14 Trifon Zaresan Festival. Bulgarian wine drinking celebration. Bulgarian wine.
15 Liechtenstein National Day. The populace of this tiny monarchy drink more per capita than anyone on the planet.
Mighty Mouse
1 oz Vodka
3/4 oz Triple sec
3/4 oz Grenadine
Mix and shoot.
16 Charles Bukowski’s Birthday (1920). Open and close a dive. Thunderbird.
17 Feast of the Hungry Ghosts (China). Remember: Ghosts are afraid of whiskey. Whiskey.
18 Bad Poetry Day. That’s every day for some of you. Port.
19 Burn Witch Burn Day (1609). Among the crimes the Salem witches were accused of was making good beer go bad.
Frisky Witch
1 1/2 oz Black Sambuca
1 1/2 oz Vodka
Mix and shoot.
Not a single day with rum... thank goodness! I never knew ghosts were afraid of whiskey. Hmm... ZERO chance of the little cabin on A ever being haunted, is there?
Race update... Looks like T-Bone took another 4th place in the feature and his beautiful bride-to-be had no feature
(Well she has a lot of good features, just didn't race in one...). It also looks like the Sec-Transportation is up to 2nd in the points with his
consistent top 5 finishes. Maybe he can pull it out in the end...
While on racing, still not sure about Saturday Night's Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races. Only 2 of 5 senior members have confirmed with 2 "maybes" and one "no-reply" (FM). I'll call The President and have him make the call. I'll be at the races either way for the "Faster Pastor" race so it makes no never mind to me...
I missed mentioning a certain birthday last week, so here's a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our SEC-W/M. His last birthday in the 20's, which is certainly hard to believe! Hope you had a GREAT day and many more!!!
Got an email from the Jack/Ass team... they have a new bow hunting "partner" that you HAVE to ask about... I'd post it but I don't know if I have the room or can handle the bandwidth requirements on the web site...
Well, I think that's it... As always, before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"The Indians gave up the land of their own free will, and for it received brass kettles, blankets, guns, shirts, flints, tobacco, rum and many trinkets in which their simple hearts delighted." -- Patrick Gordon
Sure, fill me up with enough rum and I'd give my country away too... they got screwed...
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
August
6, 2007 - Jak se maj!!! Morning... So far, its not a "good" morning... woke up a whole 5 minutes late and heard all about it... Then, just as I was about to leave for work, I noticed the dog puked all over the living room carpet... So that's how my week has started...
Busy week last week, at least as far as tavern action was concerned. Monday night we headed to the Chief's place of employment, the GBCC, for a little picnic. No beverages involved, but a nice time with really good food. Fun to see how the "other half" live... On Tuesday we sent the best baker at work off to retirement, which of
course required a little partying... Wednesday a group from work decided to hit Happy Hour next door, and Friday was a wedding. The wedding was one of the more memorable that I've attended, one that the happy couple will long remember... Congrats Jered and Ashley!
With all that going on I had to do a bit of recovering, so the porch didn't get a ton of work done on it. It is ready for the final paint and trim, which I would have done yesterday, except it kept on trying to rain. It never
actually rained, which we could have used, but it was damp as all get out. Just as well I didn't do it, as it wouldn't be dry for a week... But the end is in sight!!!
Overall a good week, so lets see what on this week's schedule...
6 Robert Mitchum’s Birthday (1917). “The only difference between me and my fellow actors is that I’ve spent more time in jail.”
Extended Jail Sentence
1 oz Jack Daniels
1 oz Southern Comfort
1 oz Gold tequila
Flash blend with ice, serve.
7 Customer Appreciation Day. Hip your bartender to this one. One on the cuff.
8 Anniversary of the Great Train Robbery (1963). Pub pals make off with $7 million.
Beer with your more ambitious buddies.
9 National Polka Day. Doesn’t sound so bad if you’re really, really drunk. Steins of beer.
10 St. Lawrence of Rome’s Day. Patron saint of cooks, protector of vineyards. Cooking sherry.
11 Puck Fair (Irish). In Ireland Puck is often blamed for finishing pub-goers drinks.
Your barstool neighbor’s drink.
12 International Youth Day. When they march past the pub, taunt them with your drink.
Aged scotch.
Hmmm... National Polka Day... Sounds fun...
Here's one from a co-worker... So true...
Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barrack looked at Hillary, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Hillary shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
John added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his copilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy."
Its going to be a
LONG year and a half of election crap coming up...
This week is going to be a busy one too... Tuesday we have a work "Golf Outing", which is always a good time. Wednesday night we're heading to a "Bullfrogs" game for the brother-in-laws birthday. Thursday night meetings, and Friday night I head north for the Annual Gutzman Booyah party. (The SEC-State is busy, so I have to fill in as "Sous-chef".) Sunday will no doubt involve some recovery from the booyah bash, so that leaves tonight for porch work... I hope it rains...
A quick note from the T-Bone Racing Team... Condolences to Lee Kielpikowski, whose mother Sandy passed away last week. Heard that T-Bone blew up his engine last Thursday in Kaukauna, but the replacement must have been OK as he took a third in the feature at 141. His beautiful bride-to-be didn't make headlines this week with her 9th place finish... Busy week though so keep up the good work!
Speaking of racing, we haven't had our Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races yet. I'm trying to track down The President to get that scheduled... I'm looking at the 18th or the 1st...
That's it for today... But before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior membership...
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," - Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
True
quote... Can you believe there are people that want to elect that?
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
Last Updated: Friday, January 30, 2009
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