The curtamous page
July 2006 Archived Notes
July
31, 2006 -
Jak se Maj! Long time!!! Sorry for the two week hiatus, but last week I was out of town Monday and Tuesday, and never got time for an update... Sorry...
I was in Chicago again last week, and let me tell you, its been busy at work. Not to complain or anything, but does anyone at my company realize its FREAKEN summer?!?!?!? Man, its been a couple of months of hectic, frantic pace... I hope the end is in sight, but I kinda doubt it.
Well, this is going to be a quick update, as we have a few minor catastrophes going on again this morning, and I wouldn't be surprised if the update is delayed... So I'll get typing...
First off, I have some interesting developments from south-east Denville... Seems one of our very
own once again has left Bob's Buck Camp in the lurch... The second in command at the Woodchuck Ranch was approached for an article in the local Denville Diaper concerning "booyah". Now, we all know what a crazy self concerned nut case he is, but you have to read this article to believe it. All I can hope is that the Press
Secretary was well into an evening with Julius when he wrote this, or there's going to be hell to pay...
Not only did our "hero" come across as some self proclaimed booyah expert, he didn't even mention Bob's Buck Camp, annual winners of the World Championship Booyah Cookoff's People's
Choice Award! Not one word!!! How can you be approached by someone to talk about booyah and not mention Ma Nelson's recipe, or the FDA Chair's skills, or The President's ability to inspire his crew yearly to win that prestigious award??? I was at a loss!
And then, to top things off, he contradicts historical FACT and tries to claim that Belgians INVENTED booyah!!! He smears it on so heavy that good Belgians everywhere (and I know both of them) are ready to disown their birthright! And STILL, no word of Bob's Buck Camp... I just don't understand it...
I was ready to head to The President's this weekend to discuss the issue and call an emergency Bored Meeting to handle this crisis, but the problem seemed so daunting that is compares to peace in the middle east. How can you possible solve something that has been going on for this long? I know... I know... The President will FIND a way!
How about some billboards to settle things down?
I don't know, but that second one is pretty funny...
Here's one from the FDA Chair...
New Irish Priest in Boston
Father Kelly rose from his bed.
It was a fine spring day in his new Southie parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside.
He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Paul. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father Kelly at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Paul, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.
Father Kelly then replied: "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin".
You think Sergeant Paul was Belgian???
And this week's daily drink suggestions:
31 Jimmy Hoffa disappears (1975). Left behind a lotta outstanding bar tabs. Union-made beer.
1 Modern Drunkard Magazine was unleashed on the drinking public (1996). Rise up,
boozehead!
Anything and everything.
2 Peter O’Toole’s Birthday (1932). “I was so drunk I thought I was Peter
O’Toole.”—Richard Burton. Irish whiskey.
3 Feast of Caligo (Roman). All hail the Mother of Chaos! Mix whatever’s on hand in a bucket.
4 St. Sithney’s Day. Patron saint of mad dogs. Something frothy.
5 Andy Capp debuted in Britain’s Daily Mirror (1957). Best comic strip ever. As many pints as your lady will buy you.
6 Robert Mitchum’s Birthday (1917). “The only difference between me and my fellow actors is that I’ve spent more time in jail.”
Extended Jail Sentence
1 oz Jack Daniels
1 oz Southern Comfort
1 oz Gold tequila
Flash blend with ice, serve.
Well, tomorrow will be quite a day...
That is all for now... I already solved one minor crisis while I did this, so I'm on a roll... I should probably go home now...
Before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to (redneck Belgians) breathe through their noses when they're eating (booyah)." -- Jim Carrey.
OK, I kinda modified that one, but I'm sure Jim would approve considering the crisis we have going on here...
Until next time, take care...
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
July
17, 2006 -
Jak se Maj! Happy Monday! I think this is getting to be a trend here, but I'm a little "tired" again this morning... I had a pretty good weekend despite lack of sleep and being on call all week...
The weekend started out OK with the beautiful bride heading to Madtown with her family
on Saturday morning. I spent the day being a bachelor, cleaning up stuff, getting ready for the crabbing fest on Sunday, etc. Even got a short nap in... Pretty uneventful day...
Until that evening... I called my blonde sister, Zumbo's beautiful bride, around 8pm to make sure I invited her for Sunday's fest. Turns out I had forgotten to invite her, not intentionally or anything, but it was a good thing I called... maybe... She called back 5 minutes later and said that Zumbo was up for a game of "Testicle Toss" and that I should come over... I was right in the middle of a cocktail, so I kinda begged off, but after I hung up, I figured it was such a hot day and I didn't spend much time outside, maybe I should head over there for some fresh air... Oh boy, did that get things rolling...
Got over there and Zumbo decided cocktails would be a good idea... Zumbo then proceeded to kick my butt in Testicle Toss, so I didn't feel so bad drinking his booze... After a couple I figured I better head home as The Mayor had mentioned she'd stop by for a beer after the races. Well, Zumbo and my blonde sister decided to come along and keep my company... Cocktail hour(s) continued with homemade old fashions at the Nelson's... The eldest boy came home, looking for some sleep as he had to work the next day... He of course joined the party... Then "The Jim Thorpe of Denville" showed up, followed by my youngest... The deck was getting pretty full... And so were we... Finally, the Mayor showed up with Jenna in tow, and by that time we were kinda pickled... After a few more and some remarks about "Mike", Zumbo poured his bride into the car and the party broke up...
Sunday was rough... I was proud of my boys as they both got up and went to work for 7am, and made it on time. I was up, and even took a call from work. Luckily, they didn't really need anything as I was pretty darn "tired". I got ready for church, and since I was ahead of schedule, decided to take a little snooze... I woke up at 11am... Whoops!
Well, not much I could do about it then, so I started getting ready for the party. Since it was tradition to get crabs on Ma
Nelson's birthday (7/15), there was no cancelling... Cleaned up, got some ice and soda, and settled in to wait for the FDA Chair. Luckily the
Chief Inspector got done with work at noon, because it was only the FDA Chair and I going crabbing, so he was quickly volunteered. Headed to the creek and despite the warm weather, we did pretty well. It was actually the Chief's first time on the net, and he did pretty well. We even took the time to sort the crabs in the creek so we didn't take any small ones back with us. After a few refreshments, we head back home to clean...
My beautiful bride was home by this time, so we had to behave ourselves. The Sausage Stuffer showed up and was enlisted for cleaning. We figured he should work for his beer. With the sorting done in the creek, the cleaning was pretty easy. Finished 'em up and got 'em cooking in no time. Called my sisters, and the mayor showed up, but my blonde sister wasn't feeling well... Something about the heat... Yeah, right... Well, I've been there, done that...
By the time the crabs were cooked, we had a little party going on. The President and AG stopped over, as well as some of the SEC-HSS's friends. Got ourselves some Suster's chicken and had a nice little feast... The only thing missing was the Oos Moos Noos... Maybe next year... Overall, for the first crab fest at my place, I think it went OK... Ma Nelson would have been proud...
I needed a good weekend after the pounding at work the last week. Big projects and on-call all week... BAD COMBINATION! The guy from work that called
Sunday morning even ask if I was alright... little did he know... Well, work will stay
pretty hectic all summer and probably into the fall. Yuck...
Something about this just seems fitting...
The Cure
Ain’t nothin like
a cold beer
gently
coating a
warm depression
on a
generally
normal
evening
—Scott Kaczmarek
Well, onto better things... How about some billboards?
And we can't forget this weeks' drinks of the day:
17 St. Alexis’ Day. Patron saint of panhandlers.
PBR draft.
18 Hunter S. Thompson’s Birthday (1937). “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.”
Wild Turkey.
19 St Arnold’s Day. The patron saint of beer spent his life teaching that water was dangerous and beer was dangerously delicious.
Chimay Ale.
20 Cockney Day. Get Brahms and Liszt down at the rub-a-dub-dub. Giggle and titter.
21 Ernest Hemingway’s Birthday (1899). Celebrate the man who taught two generations how to drink.
Papa Doble
2 1/2 ounces White Bacardi Rum
Juice of 1/2 grapefruit
6 drops grenadine
Mix with half scoop of ice in a blender. Garnish with a cherry.
22 John Dillinger is gunned down outside a movie theatre (1934). Should have went to the pub.
Gangbuster Punch
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz peach schnapps
1 oz cranberry juice
Splash 7-Up
Shake well, strain.
23 Raymond Chandler’s Birthday (1888). Literary father of the booze-belting P.I. Rye whiskey.
PBR today and Wild Turkey tomorrow? OMG! The President and AG are vacationing this week, so that's
quite a schedule for them to keep...
Well, that's all I have time for... But before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails." -- Unknown
I don't know why, but just seems so right for our junior members...
Until next time, take care...
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
July
10, 2006 -
Jak se Maj! Happy Monday! Another great week to recap! I'm a little tired again this week, but a slightly "different" tired... Had a pretty good holiday week, and celebrate the 4th with a day out fishing. The SEC-HSS, my eldest, and I headed out to the local lake and pulled out a few panfish and fried 'em up. Fish were biting, the beer was cold, and the weather beautiful. The warden that checked
our license and fish was even a nice guy... Great day!
Friday Skipper gave me a call, and since he was in town, we stopped at a local establishment for a few refreshments. Good to see him and get back in touch. Unfortunately, even though my liver felt otherwise, we couldn't go out on a runner as
I had to take my mother-in-law out for her birthday. Happy birthday!!! Good time was had though...
Saturday morning brought "The greatest athlete since Jim Thorpe" to my doorstep... He and the eldest wanted to go get some crabs. We got the cooler ready (and the crabbing gear) and headed out to the local hole. Crabbing wasn't too good though. We made about 15 pulls and only got 1/3 of a pail. We did sort 'em, so that cut down the catch, but it was pretty slow going... We were doing fine until we decided to go to the Sausage Stuffer's to get some dill... Of course, we had a beer on the porch... Then we weren't sure if we'd make it back to Denmark without dying from thirst, so we stopped at Thorpe's place and had a couple beers with his dad... We FINALLY made it back to Denville and cleaned 'em up and cooked 'em. The boys suddenly had a case of the lazy's, so I ended up doing most of the work, but it was a good afternoon non-the-less...
Before we get to the highlight of the week, how about a few billboards?
Who doesn't?
I hope it never gets that dry for Deer Camp... We'd be in SERIOUS trouble...
Well, the obvious highlight of the week was Saturday night's Bob's Buck Camp Night at the races! Due to my afternoon activities, I was well primed for the event. We headed to The President's for a pre-race cookout, and as always, The President
out did himself. Excellent burgers and brats! Another highpoint of the night was that The Captain was on leave from The Teddy and was back in town, so we had that going for us too! After a good meal, we headed to the track...
The SEC-Transportation started out the night with a 2nd in his heat... His lovely girlfriend then took to the track in the Sport-4 feature and started out in the #2 spot. She did well and held her own until another car started spewing oil and she spun out. That sent her to the back of the pack, but she ran a good race...
That took us to the Super Stock feature and the SEC-Transportation started out in the #5 spot, but it didn't take him much more than half the race to take the lead and he coasted in for the win from there. ANOTHER feature win for him on Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races! He's 2 for 3 for that event!!! The win also solidified his points lead, so he's looking good there! For more info, check out the
T-Bone site... Hopefully Chico has some updates on the page now...
After the race we headed to the pits for a some celebrating. We all did our part,
and then the party moved to Denville... It was decided that it would be a good idea if I didn't drive the truck back, so the AG was recruited. The AG drove, I shifted, and the SEC-W/M navigated... Holy cow! What a ride! We did manage to make it back in one piece, and the party continued... At a local establishment, The President and I ruled the billiard table... Repeated attempts by Zumbo, SEC-State, and SEC-W/M to win the table were denied... Until we decided to concede the table because it was time to go home... Well, that's our side of the story at least...
As I left, the SEC-Transportation was dancing... with himself...
Sunday came and I was a bit tired, but was able to make it to church... For some reason, it seemed REALLY
hot in church, but I made it thru... I got home and attempted a much deserved nap, but Jim Thorpe started banging on the door looking for some more craps, so we headed out to the garage for a quick snack...
Sunday afternoon took us out to the country for Dad's burial service... A
beautiful day to be put to rest, and Fr. Ron had a real nice service... From there we headed to Zumbo's ranch for refreshments and games with The Captain, who by the way, was looking much better than the night before... The "Testicle Toss" tournament left us all quite tired with no apparent champion, but Suster's chicken revived us all... A nice time was had, and we all got home at a reasonable time... Me, I went home and finally got my nap in before going to bed...
Well, we better check out this week's drinking schedule...
10 National Pina Colada Day. “Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne.”—Rupert Holmes.
Pina Colada.
11 Buffalo Bill Day. Saved our young nation from marauding bison. Buffalo Trace Whiskey.
12 Milton Berle’s Birthday. “If it wasn’t for the olives in his martinis, he’d starve to death.” Martinis, extra olives.
13 Fool’s Paradise Day. See you at the bar. Whatever you’re buying.
14 Bastille Day (French). Fourth of July for francophiles. Cognac.
15 Respect Canada Day. Okay, but only because of hockey and the Mackenzie brothers, eh?
Molson.
16 Anniversary of the Whiskey Rebellion. In 1794 American farmers rose up against the federal government to protest new taxes on liquor. Bottle of liquor from the duty-free shop.
Saturday looks OK, but the rest of the week could be tough...
HEY!!! I almost forgot! Its the SEC-STATE's birthday today!!! Happy birthday Colon Phallups or Condi Rice-a-roni or whatever you're going by this week! Have a great day!!!
Not much else going on this week... I hope its a little quieter... But I doubt it... we will top it off with a little party Sunday to celebrate Ma's birthday and to get some more crabs...
Even got the mayor tracking down peas for a little Oos-Mous-Nous... The mouth is watering already...
Not a bad update, but I better get some work going here... before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy." -- Robert A. Heinlein
That may be the most profound quote I've ever put out here...
Until next time, take care...
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
July
3, 2006 -
Jak se Maj! Wow, what a week... As I begin this week's update, I'm a
"little" tired... Yesterday's events have left me a little less than 100%, that's for sure...
Yesterday started out pretty good. Up at 4am to do some maintenance for work. Usually that kinda stuff turns into a pain in the butt, but it went really well... Got to church, got some more work done, and then it was party time. Party #1 was a grad party for AL... Things were going fine until the FM showed up. Suddenly, there was a stack of empty beer cans in front of me... Luckily, we all had other parties to hit otherwise we might still be there...
Then it was off to the SEC-State's for the annual July 4th party. Roasted corn AND the FDA Chair's world famous booyah! And the whole gang was there, INCLUDING The President who was in fine form... The SEC-W/M brought his new girl, who, by the way, seems way too nice for him... And the Sturgeon General brought HIS girlfriend Nicky... She seems
very nice too, but the Sturgeon General's mother set them up, so there must be something wrong or there's a lot of cash changing hands...
Me? I behaved pretty well... I only had 4 beers, but that's a whole other story... I did end up driving The President home and we didn't even stop on the way, which is pretty amazing in itself... I got home fine, and was going to go to bed when the eldest stumbles in with a friend... The friend turns out to be "The Best Athlete Since Jim Thorpe" himself... Well I had to get up and have a beer with the boys, which probably wasn't the best idea in the world. But overall, it turned out to be a pretty good day... But I sure am tired today...
The FDA Chair sent me some new billboards...
Last week was a wild one too... I had to head to Lancaster, PA for three days... Got some work done and had a heck of a time in Mount Joy at a place called The Caverns. It's an old brewery going back to the early 20th century, and the dinning room is down in a cavern where they used to age the beer... So we started out in their bar for cocktail our. The bar portion of the place is called Bube's. Yeah, they pronounce it just like you'd hope. Well, their micro-brew was pretty good, so by the time we had to go eat, crawling up and down those rickety stairs in and out of the cavern was quite a
challenge.. Excellent time, but for some reason I was tired the next day too... I think we're showing some sort of pattern here...
We better get back to posting the old "Drink-of-the-Day"!!!
3 International Civil Disobedience Day. No, I will not show you my ID!
Screwdrivers at home.
4 Independence Day (USA). Celebrate our freedom to drink crappy American beer. Bud.
5 Peace and Unity Day (Rwanda). Seethe irony and sarcasm. Virgin Bloody Mary, except with vodka.
6 The Running of the Bulls Festival begins. Substitute bouncers for bulls. Schlitz Malt Liquor.
7 Great Gatsby Festival. Suit up and drink like you got a million bucks. Cosmopolitan.
8 Julius Caesar's Birthday (100 BC). Et tu, boozus?
Bloody Caesar
2 oz vodka
1 dash worcestershire sauce
1 dash Tabasco Sauce
1 oz Clamato Juice
Celery salt
Pepper
Rim tall glass with celery salt, fill with ice and ingredients. Garnish with a celery stick and lime.
9 National POW/MIA Day. Raise a glass to brothers lost. Colt 45 Malt Liquor.
July 4th is perfect... I'm not the only one that realizes Bud is a crappy beer...
Got this from the Jack/Ass team... It's labeled "SEC-W/M's Keyboard"...
Well, other than a potential fishing expedition tomorrow with the eldest boy, the highlite of the week will probably be Saturday night's annual "Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races". We'll head over to The President's for some chow in the afternoon and then off to the races to see the
Sec-Transportation and his best girl race... Hopefully they both have all their crashes out of their system and we'll see a couple wins... Something tells me I might be a little tired on Sunday again...
So, that's about it... there's more to tell, but I'm tired of typing... before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Our parents were better drinkers than we are." -- Rule #21 of the Official Boozing Guide
Until next time, take care...
...and have a GREAT holiday!!! Salute the flag!!!
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
Last Updated: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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