The curtamous page
March 2005 Archived Notes
March
28, 2005 - Happy Easter everyone! I hope everyone had a good Easter weekend and enjoyed the beautiful weather. I think spring may actually be here. I had a good weekend, but more on that later...
Well, lent is finally over. I broke my fast after Holy Thursday mass and had my first beer in 40+ days. Surprisingly, it wasn't as good as I expected. But I
definitely finished it down. I had my first coffee Friday morning and found that I couldn't drink as much of it as usual. I guess I gotta get used to the
caffeine again.
Saturday I met up with Zumbo while coloring eggs over at Ma/Pa Nelson's and we decided to head over to The President's. I wanted to pick up an old storm window I want to use in my shop. Plus, we figured he might have some beer. For some reason, his beer tasted very good, so I'm back off the wagon.
Zumbo and I learned much from The President, as usual, and actually got the window that I came for. The President has more, and Zumbo may use a couple in the design of his new wildlife viewing station. That should be a fun project.
During our discussions, the topics of wood making and the new bar/tent idea were discussed. I haven't heard anything back from the senior membership on the tent issue, but Zumbo agreed it was a fine idea. The fund raising drive will start soon. Get your checkbooks out.
Wood making is still set for the weekend of 4/9-10. I may not make it as the Chief Inspector might be attending another in a long line of basketball tournaments. However, in discussions with the SEC-W/M and the SEC-State, they may be able to participate. THEY NEED MORE help, so check you calendars and let me know.
I'm guessing more important business was covered during our expedition to The President's garage, but for some reason I don't remember any more...
After a rousing Easter Sunday mass, we headed to Eddie Whipp's for dinner and stuffed ourselves with chicken and all the fix'ens. Good stuff to be sure as I haven't felt the need to eat since. We then went to the SEC-State's abode for the rest of the Badger game. Sadly, despite a great effort, they didn't have enough to overcome a very good NC team. Making it to the Elite 8 was quite an accomplishment for them though.
Here's the last of my motivational posters:
Kinda Lame... 'bout time we close out this section...
I was concerned about the possibility of TWO WEEKS in a row without an entry for our weekly contest, but luckily Zumbo's little Trixie came through with this response to last week's question:
I asked my Master what he thought about the question of the week, and he gave me an immediate answer although I am not quite sure what he meant. When I asked him "How young can you die of old Age?" He said it would have to be "the day after you get married". Maybe Dixie could give me some insight on the meaning of his response as I am rather perplexed on the entire issue. Sincerely, Trixie LaDouche
Hmmm... An extremely appropriate answer that could also be used for the question of "When do you start waiting to die... Well, Zumbo wins an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage, which he actually collected with me last Saturday. Did I mention we had a great time?
With spring coming on, here's this week's question:
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
As always, please feel free to submit your answers in the
guestbook... Again, the best answer of the week gets an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage...
As I mentioned last week, junior (SEC-HHS) spent last week down south expanding his tan and chasing tails. I guess he had a good time, but the weather was not all that great. He was on his way home last night when he called and said they had car problems in Knoxville and had to spend the night. Bad belt or something. I think maybe they got thirsty... He should be home later today...
My beautiful bride and the Chief Inspector are down in the Windy City today.
They left yesterday and will be gone until tomorrow. Boy, was it (nice and) quiet at home. The dog is bored silly without all the commotion, but so far we're surviving. One more day of peace and then its back to the old routine.
Speaking of vacations, I wonder if the FM and his tribe are back yet?
You know what, Fish Camp 2005 is sneaking up on me. I gotta get some emails out, the menu set, and schedules locked in. WHERE ARE MY PRIORITIES??? I'll get to it... I promise... My problem is work has been busy so I haven't had much time to get my important stuff done.
Speaking of fishing, I could see this happening to me:
One man's hobby was fishing. He spent all his weekends near the river or by the lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house.
The man came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and lay near his wife. The lights were off and he snuggled up behind her. She didn't even turn around.
"What terrible weather today, Honey," he said to her.
"Yes, she answered. "And my idiot husband went fishing."
Well, that's what I got for this week. To the Bored, get back to me on wood making and anything else you may deem important. Before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation."-- Pearl S. Buck
As I get older, I see that this is VERY true... Nothing like being young and stupid...
Until next time, take care...
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
March
21, 2005 - Happy "Last Week of Lent" to all of you. Yep, its Holy Week, which means lent is almost over. Let me just say, its a LONG time to go without a beer, especially when The President stops over... more on that later...
First off, I missed an extremely important date last week. Not only was last Monday the SEC-D'Fence's birthday, it was ALSO the FM's birthday! I'd apologize for forgetting, but I never knew they shared a birthday.
Thanks to Ms. Dixie LaRue for letting me know... here's her note:
Dear Mr. V.P.:
Although it was a classy move on your part to add an addendum to Monday's update highlighting the birthdays of SecD'Fence and FDA Chair, you inadvertently missed another one. Your esteemed FM celebrated his 46th on Monday, as well. It appears that many dignitaries hit the earth during this same week. He did not want me to mention this to you, but I felt obliged, given that he has been whining and moping about it ever since. By the way, he is leaving for Florida tomorrow for about a week, so will be out of contact should any emergency situations arise. Jethro and Junior will be gone as well, so please keep an eye on the Ranch.
Best regards,
Dixie LaRue
So the FM, old man that he is, is spending the week in Florida? Wow... I suppose he fits in with all the senior citizens down there, and Jethro and
Junior can push him around in his wheel chair until he get himself one of those senior scooters...
I spent much of yesterday moving my bedroom furniture around. The wife decided to trade our bed and dressers for a different set from her sister. Pretty much a pain in the "you know what's", but didn't bother her OR my sister-in-law as me and Mr. John Deere did all the work... And somehow Mr. John Deere got stuck making all the trips... Oh well, now I got a new bed to break in...
In all, the weekend wasn't bad though as the Badgers and UW-M Panthers both made it thru to the Sweet Sixteen. My bracket however is a TOTAL mess. Thursday-Friday wasn't so bad, but Saturday-Sunday was almost a complete loss. 3 out of 4 of my Final Four are gone. Not gonna win AGAIN this year...
Here's this week's motivational poster for everyone:
I'm quite disappointed this morning in the lack of contest entries. We had zero. Well, someone did ask for a clarification to last week's question, so maybe there was just confusion. We'll use a simpler question this week:
How young can you die of old age?
Let see if you do any better with that one. As always, please feel free to submit your answers in the
guestbook... Again, the best answer of the week gets an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage...
Well, on to The President's visit. He and the AG stopped over yesterday and I had beer ready. This is first rate penance by the way. Not too easy to watch The President drink alone.
Anyway, the winter is getting long so he's had his head in the latest outdoor catalogs. Being the thinking man that he is, he's come up with another idea! His idea of the portable bar for Deer Camp will NOT go away. Here's what he is considering now:
This can be found at http://www.sportsmansguide.com using item #WX2-91997. He's looking for feedback on this idea, as well as funding. Senior members, get your wallets out. Personally, I think its a great idea. Not only will it serve us at Deer Camp, but can also be used (or rented out) for parties and such...
He also found a neat little chair/stool combo for the cabin. (Item #WX2-72778) If anyone has plans for something like this, please let The President know. Over all, it was a VERY enlightening visit!
My sisters and nieces arrived home safely yesterday from their ocean cruise and report a VERY good time. If they're already planning their next cruise, that must mean they enjoyed it. Welcome back! My other sister and
niece are probably getting ready to head back from Colorado today as well, so I hope
they also have a safe trip. (I wonder if Zumbo enjoyed his bachelor's weekend?)
Its hard to believe, but its just over 6 weeks until Fish Camp 2005. I need to start getting READY!!! OK, here's a start... I might have posted these before, but who cares... they're still funny...
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. " What's the deal?" Fourth guy: " I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Fool Around?" and she said, "Wear a Sweater."
OK, this one's not fishing related, but its still funny...
The art of horse trading........
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."
Johnny, looking worried said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."
And probably the postman,
the paper boy, the meter man, etc... Funny stuff... Gotta love Little Johnny...
Well, that's what I got for this week. Next week I'll be on my own as junior will be in SC on spring break and the wife and
Chief Inspector are going to Chicago for a few days. Should be nice. Well, before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Work is the curse of the drinking classes." -- Oscar Wilde.
In honor of the end of lent... To all of you, I hope you have a GREAT week and a GREAT Easter!
Until next time, take care...
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
March 14, 2005 - Noonish - UPDATE!!! I can't believe I forgot this. I had it down on my notes and everything. Today is SEC-D'Fence's birthday. HIS 21ST BIRTHDAY. I'm guessing he's on his 11th screwdriver by now... Happy Birthday Case!!!
To add to that, TOMORROW is the FDA Chair's birthday. He's OLD... like 45 or something... Anyway, sorry about the oversight, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to both!!!
curtamous
March
14, 2005 - Good morning! How's everything going? I hope all is well! I am very
thrilled to be back from Dallas. I spent last Thursday and Friday down in the big state. Temps were in the high 70's to low 80's. And I come back to single digit temps... Wow... Well, at least we know spring "should" be on the way.
Speaking of travel, a couple sisters and nieces are probably getting ready to get on a
Caribbean Cruise ship as I write this. They flew to Miami Saturday and spent yesterday checking out the city before today's departure. They'll hit a couple islands and be back next weekend. I hope they have a great time!
Also, Zumbo's beautiful bride and my tiny niece are heading to Colorado this weekend to visit my other
niece. They're driving all the way and coming back the same... I've driven that road, and its a long haul... Here's safe travels to them as well.
Being in Dallas, I missed Denmark's appearance in their first sectional appearance in a long time. Sounds like it was a good game, and Jethro had a chance to win it at the buzzer. CLANG! Just kidding... Those kids did a great job and we're very proud of them. Congrats! Next year STATE!
Here's this week's motivational poster for everyone:
That one should go up in the bunk house for the junior membership...
Well, last week's contest brought on possibly the all-time BEST ever submission to the guestbook. Oh, who am I kidding, it IS the best entry ever. I doubt it will ever be topped, unless by the author himself. It wasn't just an entry to the contest, but a whole commentary on the site and life in general. The question was, "How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there?", and here's the President's submission:
a few words from the PRESIDENT FIRST OFF to the FM,S dogs reply, bravo, well done. He deserves a SCOOBY snack. Second, a word to sire steephen hawking [renamed theseagull because we all like seagulls so much] your referance to RED GREENS book THE ELEPHANT UNIVERSE, there is no N in photo [I checked in my FUNK @ wagno 1st addition] therfore you must be talking about a photo clock which clears up everything, thank you so very much. THIRD in regard to the SMURF question, if chock a smurf and take a picture with black @ white film the color is inconclussive?. FOURTH my theory on the KEEP OFF THE GRASS is the same varmint that keeps moving the hole on the greens, or it could be a drug rehab center trying to get its point across.
I had tears in my eyes!
I had to immediately email the FM and notify him. The FM, other than commenting
on the possibility that it was whiskey induced, could only say "Hail to the
Chief". If this doesn't get everyone reading the guestbook daily, nothing will...
I had no other entries, which is good, be cause they all would have come in a very distant 10th place. Not even Hawk
(theseagull) responded, once again stumped in his effort to apply string theory to every question. Hopefully this week... Here's the question:
If swimming's such good exercise, how come whales are so fat?
With all the diet crazes out there, that one cracks me up. As always, please feel free to submit your answers in the
guestbook... Again, the best answer of the week gets an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage...
I had the pleasure of cooking at Ma/Pa Nelson's again this weekend. I whipped up some incredible roasted rabbit with all the
fixens. Also had
the SEC-Transportation and his fiancé over to enjoy the meal. Since it was really his duty to cook, I figured it was the least he could do. Did I mention it was REALLY
good? I told 'em when they get their little cottage in the country that they'll have to start RAISING rabbits instead of acting like them...
With Fish Camp 2005 fast approaching, I figured some "junior member" stories might be good...
Two junior members were sitting on a bench
talking... and one says to the other:" Which do you think is farther away...
Florida or the moon?" The other turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see
Florida...?????
-------------
A junior member pushes his truck into a gas station. He tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
The junior member says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor". The junior member asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
-------------
A police officer stops a junior member for speeding and asks him very nicely if he could see his license. He replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
-------------
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the junior member behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that
he was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the junior member yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
-------------
A Russian, an American, and a junior member were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The junior member said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the junior member replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
-------------
A junior member was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was his turn. He rolled the dice and landed on Science & Nature. His question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
He thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Darn junior members... I bet every one of those is true...
Well, that's what I got for this week. I just went back and re-read The President's entry, and I'm laughing again. Well, before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"What we do in life echos into eternity." -- Gladiator
I watched The Gladiator a couple times this weekend...
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
March
7, 2005 - Howdy Folks! Mappy Honday and all that... Well, its looks like I've had another uneventful, rather boring week. That's two in a row. Kinda nice actually, but it will lend itself to another short update this week...
Probably the highlight of the week involves Denmark roundball. I traveled with my beautiful bride and the
Chief Inspector and his buddy Hooter (both decked out for the occasion) to the friendly confines of Brillion's new high school gym. There the vaunted Vikings took on a scrappy New Holstein team but came away with a solid victory, despite rather poor play, and took home the first regional title in about 17 years.
We were lucky enough to sit close to, but not right by the FM and his family. With the FM being "one of those parents", you're never too far away. Despite the FM's constant griping about the program this year, I was rather impressed. They have a solid team with a really good core of talented players, which showed in their decisive win despite their poor play. And the coaching was not bad at all...
Jethro, the FM's eldest, had a nice game as well. He should be very proud. Congrats!
The one downer about the whole thing is that they now play in the sectional semifinal this
Thursday at the arena. I'd love to go see them, as I obviously carried some good luck to their game, but alas, I will be in Texas this
Thursday and Friday and a work junket. I knew I should have told them I couldn't go... Well, good luck to them anyway...
I got to see the SEC-W/M this weekend as we attempted to replace Ma/Pa Nelson's kitchen faucet. You'd think that would be a relatively easy process, but we couldn't even get the old one off. We even enlisted the hobbled SEC-Transportation and his trusted blow torch to no avail. I called a plumber this morning...
The SEC-W/M brought his new girlfriend to town this weekend as well... I liked her right away as she immediately joined in on the constant harassment of the SEC. Gramma remembers her name
using an old spice... nutmeg...
The SEC-Transportation was "hobbled" this weekend due to an unfortunate snowmobile accident. His ankle is quite sore and he went to check with the doc yesterday... He called looking for a pair of crutches, but I only had a set for a little girl. I hope
they're not too big... Probably better than the set he designed...
Here's this week's motivational poster for everyone:
More on the whole ship thing later...
Concerning
last week's qquestion of the week, we only had one contest entry, and it really wasn't an entry at all. I thought the question of "If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?" would have
provoked many inspired discussions and enlightened theories, but all we got was "I don't know. Why don't we try choking the AG and find out?" from the FM. Ouch... We'll see what the AG has to say about THAT.
I did get a note from Hawk on the issue, who, by the way, likes his new name. He was unable to speculate on the question in terms of string theory, so he declined to answer. I Stumped him!!! He did however note that the "words of wisdom" concerning time being the speed of one second per second was not completely true and suggested looking into Green's photon clock for more info. Great...
I got all kinds of time for that... maybe The President has a photon clock we can use...
Anyway, back to the contest. Since we really don't have a winner, we'll leave this week's trophy unclaimed. A big disappointment for The President, so everyone better get thinking this week and get an answer in. With the nice weather we had over the weekend and thoughts of impending spring, here's this week's question:
How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there?
As always, please feel free to submit your answers in the
guestbook... Again, the best answer of the week gets an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage...
We had some discussion on the guestbook concerning the FM's woodchuck issues. Seems someone was looking for a chuck, someone replied that the Woodchuck Ranch was the place, someone disagreed, and the next thing I know we've got the FM's dog telling someone from PETA to bite him. Obviously a ill tempered dog...
With Fish Camp 2005 coming soon, I thought we'd put out some informational material to help those who don't understand fishing as well as us experts. Here are some basic terms everyone should know:
Angler: An obsessed individual who owns a house that is falling down due to neglect, a truck whose color can best be described as Rust-Oleum, and a pristine boat that he chamois' down methodically before and after each trip.
Knot: (1) An insecure connection between your hook and fishing line. (2) A permanent tangle on your spinning reel which forces you to go out and buy a bigger, better, much more expensive rig.
Landing Net: A net used to help drag a large wiggling fish, or an inebriated fishing buddy, on board.
Live Bait: The biggest fish you'll handle all day.
Quiet Water: Your surroundings after you stop cursing your bad luck and fall asleep at the reel.
Skunked: fisherman One who returns to the boat ramp many, many hours after his buddies have gone home so that there are no witnesses to his catch or lack
thereof.
Sinker: (1) A weight attached to a lure to get it to the bottom. (2) The nickname of your boat.
Thumb: A temporary hook holder.
Treble Hook: Triples the odds of your catching a fish. Quadruples the odds of your getting the hook caught in your thumb (see above).
Trolling: What you do after you've lost a $500 rod and reel set-up overboard.
I hope those
help everyone. I'm sure the Sausage King can use them...
Well, not a bad update despite the slow week. Next week, we have birthday's for
a couple members, so keep that in mind...
Before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for." -- Clarissa Pinkola-Estes
Kinda deep and spiritual... in other words, get off your ass...
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
Last Updated: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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