The curtamous page
February 2005 Archived Notes
February
28, 2005 - Happy Monday everyone! Sorry for the late posting of the update, but I had a dentist appointment this morning. Nothing like starting out the week with having someone scrape the hell out of your teeth and tell you need to floss more... Does anyone floss regularly? I mean normal
people, not junior members... Plus, Doc told me I better get my wisdom teeth out. I've been putting that off for about 5 years, so I better get to it... Oh yeah, Doc says "Hi" to the Sausage King too...
Big day yesterday, as Zumbo celebrated another birthday. 27 and holding strong. I understand his beautiful bride cooked him and a select cast a nice pan of lasagna. Sounds pretty good to me. Happy Birthday Zumbo!!!
Oh yeah, here's a pic of his birthday cake:
Word is our SEC-W/M is on his way back from Vegas today. He
headed out last Friday to party with another comrade soon to take the big leap and join the rest of us unhappy men. Yeah, his banker buddy is getting hitched. I'm kinda wondering if the SEC will come back with even the shirt on his back... That, or maybe he can finance the new barroom The President wants up at Deer Camp.
Here's this week's motivational info for you:
That one kinda makes you think of Saturday night at Deer Camp...
The Chief Inspector had a good week of basketball coming home with a first and second to end the year in
pretty good form. He played well, but not enough to get out of my doghouse. He getting get working on that too...
We have a winner from last week's question of the week "What if there were no hypothetical situations?". Again, Sir Stephen Hawking, henceforth known as "Hawk", can up with another analytical resolution based on string theory and
parallel universes. Sorry Hawk, but based on my late update today, I don't have the time to verify your application. But I am looking forward to your entry next week. Ms Dixie LaRue also submitted a nice entry, but I think she's spending too much time fantasizing about a certain
webmaster (wink-wink). There was even a nice comment from Lennon's kid.
(But NOT a nice comment from YOU Mr. FM)
So, for the first time, I will name an "anonymous" entry
as our winner. The answer of "if there were no "hypothetical situations," then the FM would be present at every BBC function" was submitted by an unnamed junior member. While I understand the point of this answer, I think its just basically backward, which only verifies that an actual junior member submitted
it! Congrats! If The President has some mangy junior member hanging around the garage this week, he'll know why...
Here's this week's question:
If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?
Please feel free to submit your answers in the
guestbook... Again, the best answer of the week gets an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage... Looking forward to Hawk applying string theory to that
one, as well as whatever sassy comment Dixie has...
Don't forget to mark your calendars for Fish Camp 2005!!! Opening weekend in May on beautiful Nelligan Lake. Be there! I've already started the paperwork...
Here's a good one. Let me set the stage. The President has finally passed on and is reincarnated as a snake...
A man went fishing one day. He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its
mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free.
But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked around the boat, but he had no food. All he had was a bottle of Kesslers. So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots.
The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds. He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat. With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!
Either last week was a bit boring and uneventful, or I forgot everything I did. Oh well, nothing wrong with a short but sweet update. Next week I might even have the update out on time... Before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"The speed of time is one-second per second." -- Unknown
Not even Hawk can argue that one, but it would take him months to explain it to the junior membership.
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
February
22, 2005 - Happy day after President's Day to everyone! We're coming to you live, one day late, due to one of the
biggest holiday's of the year; President's Day. Now, out US government would like you to think this holiday only commemorates Washington and Lincoln's births, but WE all know that we used to celebrate those separately UNTIL the great President of the BBC came to
prominence. So, Happy President's Day Mr. President!!!
As has been the case the last few years, I've had the day off for President's day. I usually go bunny hunting, but due to the
excessive snow we received Sunday, and the total lack of bunnies on MLK Day, I skipped it and got a bunch of stuff done at home. I even got in a short nap. What a great day off...
The snow storm we had Sunday was a pretty good one. I'd guess a total of 9.2" of the heavy wet stuff. At least that's how much I had in MY yard. Its always kinda fun getting the old snow blower out when its been sitting for a while. Gotta love machines...
Obviously, none of this is nearly as important as the big BBC meeting held Friday night in the garage. SEC-State, FDA Chair, SEC-Transportation, and of course The President attended. Had some snacks and a few brews and conducted some business. Somehow the night seems a bit foggy for me... I think maybe my water was spiked with pine needles or something... Great time!
On the business side of the meeting, Fish Camp 2005 is on, and The President might attend! He and the AG may spend their opening weekend at Nelligan Lake, so all you livers out there: GET READY! We also tentatively set a
wood making weekend for the second weekend after Easter. So that would be like April 9-10th. Be sure to be there! Other than that, I don't think there was other major business, but I should have taken notes... like I said, everything's a little fuzzy...
SEC-State reports that he saw half of the Jack and Ass team at Fleet Farm East last week. Seems he was doing some unmentionable acts with some local dairy herds. I would have gone over to see what he was up to, but Pa Nelson had a bit of an issue and made a trip to the local hospital. He's fine, and came home shortly afterward, but I wish I could have stopped over to see that no good from McFarland. Maybe next time...
For those of you that might fear messing up perfectly good venison because you're not the greatest cook, here's something for you:
Mmmmm! Yummy!
Last week's question of the week "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?" has posed a
dilemma. We had two entries, one from the SEC-Weights/Measures and one from Sir Stephen Hawking. For those of you who do not know Sir Stephen, he is one of the most
preeminent thinkers of our time. Kinda like the Einstein of the late 20th/early 21st century. His answer "After 3 days of research, the answer is,
surprisingly, neither, and both, and at the same. If you think in terms of quantum physics, and the up-quark, and down-quark, it is quite simple, and obvious." Clearly, it would seem that this would be no-contest. What could the SEC-Weights/Measures come up with to even touch that? Well, despite a little sucking up, he's actually come up with an answer with some
intelligence. His answer of "If in succeeding to fail, even though failing, if the president is pleased, then succeeding to fail is a success" clearly shows some thought. ITS A MIRACLE!!! SEC-W/M THINKING!!!
So, I think what we'll do is, for the first time in the history of this event, we'll declare a tie. With no offence meant to Mr. Hawking, whose three days of research gave us the perfect answer and MAY get the BBC published, but its tough to complete with a small miracle. Plus, with
Mr. Hawking's physical difficulties, he is unable to travel easily anyway, so the prize will once again go to the SEC-W/M. Maybe Mr. Hawking could make a trip up to Deer Camp 2005?
Here's this week's question:
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Please feel free to submit your answers in the
guestbook... Again, the best answer of the week gets an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage... Kinda hoping for Mr. Hawking to jump in here again...
Here's this week's motivational info for you:
Why is it that penguins always crack people up? They're kinda like junior members, aren't they?
Here's a quick one:
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow.
I think that's all I have. Seems I had a lot more to write about, but it all escapes me now... Plus, I have crap to do... damn work... But before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." -- Ernest Hemingway
I've used that one before, but since the FM submitted it, I felt it appropriate to use it again. Its VERY TRUE!!!
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
February
14, 2005 - Good Morning to all and a very Happy Valentine's Day! I'm sure this morning all of the beautiful brides of the BBC members had a breakfast in bed, foot massage, and drawn bath for them... and then they woke up. Hope they all have a good day anyway...
By now all of you should have received your personal copies of the 4th annual Bob's Buck Camp Newsletter. So far, I've gotten RAVE reviews on it, and you all should be VERY proud of the efforts we put into Deer Camp. Here's one comment: "Thank you for the BBC paper but most of all thank you for the index on the front so I knew who was writing what. Each year I am amazed at the writing skills each of you have and only use once a year. Good job." If you can't tell, that comes from a librarian.
Personally, I really like two thing about the newsletter. First, it always brings back
memories of at least ten HILARIOUS things that I'd forgotten about already. There are so many great times packed into such a short weekend that its hard to remember them all... this helps... Also, the newsletter
spurs me to read the past copies of the newsletter and go back in time. Brings all the fun back again. Makes me wish I'd journaled ALL my years deer hunting... If you want to go back and read the old newsletters, check the web site
here. If you have problems getting them to load, its probably your own damn fault...
So, who won the Pro Bowl yesterday? Yeah, I don't know either...
I can't remember where I got this, but I'm not a big Martha fan, but this kinda put it back into perspective for me:
"Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J. & Kobe are walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her butt to jail." -- Tim Allen on Martha Stewart
We have a new winner in the question of the week contest. The question was "How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?" We had two entries and the winner was "Since we all know the Prez is bound to get in to heaven, and also that he tries to get away with as much as possible, you can sin just as much as the Prez. (Thats may be more than most people can handle)". How very very true... However, the contestant DID NOT sign their name...
(Although I THINK I know who it is... There aren't many cocky enough to
refer to The President as "the Prez") So the prize goes to the runner up answer of "All of them. The big guy forgives all sins" submitted by the
SEC-Weights/Measures. Now by the big guy does he mean The President? The young SEC will be The President's guest out in his garage... After The President spends a few hours trying to get rid of him, I'm guessing The President wins this
contest for a few months straight...
Here's this week's question:
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Please feel free to submit your answers in the
guestbook... Again, the best answer of the week gets an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage...
Well, as most of you know, Lent started last Wednesday. I was serious thrilled at Ash Wednesday services when not only did I see The President there, but the AG, FM-Junior and
Chief Inspector all participated in the services. The AG and FM-Junior actually had to get up and READ! I had NO idea either one could... AND they did a good job! Good to see them all participate...
Here's this week's motivational info for you:
See? Sometimes it IS better to just shut the hell up...
Last week the
SEC-Transportation stopped over to drop off his old broken futon/bunk bed. I've was stupid enough to mention to him that I was looking for an old futon for my workshop. The Futon part is fine, but I'm not so sure about the bunk bed part... I'm thinking maybe I can use the bunk as shelving. It was nice of him to bring his (future)
fiancé as well, as she did most of the work carrying the thing upstairs... Thanks Ash!
Am I the only one that misses Calvin and Hobbes? I LOVED that comic! Something about their dry but very smart aleck humor just cracks me up. I ran across this toon on the net...
and its a good one. Enjoy:
We're working on a BBC meeting this weekend, and it looked like Saturday was going to work better, but then SEC-State said Friday was better due to a Saturday wedding, so now we're leaning toward Friday night...
If its his going away party, he probably should be there. Haven't heard back from a couple other senior members, so keep an eye on your email box for the final invite...
Junior members, I need to know if you'll show up so I know how much beer to
get...
Also, so far, it looks like Fish Camp 2005 is set for opening weekend... Be There!!!
The next item is a dual purpose item. The President would be proud. Not only does it honor
Valentines Day, it also gives us all a little language lesson:
How to say I love you in 25 different languages.
English
I Love You
Spanish
Te Amo
French
Je T'aime
German
lch Liebe Dich
Japanese
Ai Shite Imasu
Italian
Ti Amo
Chinese
Wo Ai Ni
Swedish
Jag Alskar
Alabama
Arkansas
Kansas
Oklahoma
Texas
North Carolina
South Carolina
Georgia
Tennessee
Idaho
Missouri
Mississippi
Montana
Louisiana
Virginia
West Virginia
Kentucky
parts of Florida
Nice Ass, Get in the truck
I think that's all I have. Well, at least that's all I have time for... But before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Do not worry about what people are thinking about you--for they are not thinking about you. They are wondering what you are thinking about them." --Anonymous
Pretty good one...
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
February
7, 2005 - Howdy folks and a Happy Monday Morning
to all! Well, its not terribly happy, as I did enjoy the Superbowl yesterday, and this morning I'm a little tired... The family unit headed to The Bar to eat and watch the game with the outlaws. Had a good time as the place was
pretty empty, so there were no crowds to fight. Made it easier to watch the game and play pool and darts and
foosball. Like I said, had a good time... Sis-in-law and SEC-HHS (VP-Junior) even got interviewed and put on TV. The
SEC-HSS was very profound, orange hair and all (more on that later) and said "I ate a lot today"! I'm very proud...
Just in case you didn't hear about this one, I thought I'd post it in honor of the
Superbowl:
Here's a tack that the beer companies might want to keep in mind for their Super Bowl ads: Beer can save your life. That's the moral of an odd story from Slovakia. While driving his Audi in the Slovak Tatra mountains last week, Richard Kral was buried in an avalanche in the Slovak Tatra mountains. Luckily for Kral, he had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car because he was headed on vacation. Over four days, Kral tirelessly pounded brews and urinated out his window to melt the snow until he was able to escape. This really puts all those silly "tastes great/less filling" arguments into perspective.
Now that guy was using his head!!! HA! HA! HA!
Oh yeah, the actual game yesterday was pretty good. You could tell in the second half the Pats were pulling away, but you never quite knew for sure. It was interesting right up to the end too. I wonder if Reid hadn't been mentored by pass-happy Holmgren, if they might have run the ball once in a while and won the game... we'll never know... Pa Nelson's pretty sure he won on the
halftime numbers, so at least someone was happy...
Here's this week's motivational info for you:
That should concern all you junior members... It wouldn't even take a smart robot to replace most of you...
Saturday was a BIG day as the FDA Chair made booyah at Ma/PA Nelson's place. I tried to help out as little as possible, and I think I did a good job. The sisters helped out and even Zumbo was cutting veggies at one point. The highlight of the day was the multiple stops made by The President. He was helping the son-in-law (The Executive Assistant) move into their new home in the neighborhood but had the time to stop over and conduct some inspections. His first trip at around 11am did NOT meet his
approval as the first beer had not been cracked yet. He remedied that in a hurry... He also mentioned jelly beans on Sunday... There was true fear in the FDA Chair's eyes...
The booyah was served on Sunday after mass for Chuck and Chris, and it was EXCELLENT! I think the winter weather somehow made it taste better, but this was one of the FDA Chair's better batches. Good stuff... The lone downer of the day was that The President never showed up for booyah after mass... He was spotted in church, but I never saw him after that... Hmmm... Might have to drop some off for him this week...
Speaking of The President, he was again the winner of last week's question of the week. His answer to "Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?" was "THE
answer is YES. Infancy is exploring new ground and adultery is remapping old ground to find a better use for it". I think Zumbo was going to submit an answer but once he saw The President's perfect response, he conceded. I think The President is either trying to save money by winning his own all expenses paid trip to his garage, OR Dixie is coming two weeks in a
row... Here's this week's question:
How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
Please feel free to submit your answers in the
guestbook... Again, the best answer of the week gets an all expenses paid trip to The President's garage...
I mentioned the SEC-HSS's orange hair before... Must have been a bad hair week... Not only did he end up with orange hair after a
moment of weakness (and letting some girls TRY to color his hair), but the SEC-Transportation was all spiffy clean after "painting" his own beard and hair... Dude looks like he's about 12 years old... I'm glad I don't have all those hair problems...
Here's one of my all time favorite posters:
Junior members: You have hope!!!
Got into an email discussion again last week with the FM... He's made reconsider my position on our wager, and I may just pay him off again... I hate the idea of owing him anything... Oh, you may see him in another "Why is this man so happy" contest again soon...
I forgot to mention last week that I received my turkey permit. I'll be out at Zumbo's ranch for the 3rd period (end of May) tracking down old Tom. Zumbo's got the first week, and I think the AG has the second week. The President did not
receive his yet, which kinda ticks him off considering I didn't even get my application in on time. My guess is the DNR just was
giving old Tom a fair chance...
Talked about Fish Camp 2005 over the weekend too... I think we'll plan on opening weekend as usual as long as most can make it. Opening weekend is late this year, AND it falls on Mother's Day... could be interesting... Drop me a line if that's gonna work... Oh, I hope to have the damn newsletter shipped by then...
Its my anniversary this week... 20 years... what a sentence...
Speaking of which:
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Pity the poor man that marries THAT little girl...
That's it for today... Before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"The speed of time is one-second per second." -- unknown
That should keep the junior members thinking for quite
awhile...
Don't forget, lent starts on Wednesday... get your ashes to church...
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
Last Updated: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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