The curtamous page
August 2005 Archived Notes
August
30, 2005 - Good morning all! Sorry for the late update, but I was a bit "tired" yesterday after a very successful church picnic on Sunday. Everything was fine until we headed up to the local
establishment to pay our beer bill... Oh my... When the shots started, I finally left... Good time though...
Well, its been two weeks since a proper update. Since then we had the BBC Night at the Races and a trip to NYC. Pretty busy schedule...
First off, the BBC Night at the Races. What a GREAT event! We started off at The Presidents where The President and "Ski" made some awesome booyah. Quite
different from the FDA Chair's booyah, but pretty damn good none-the-less. From there we headed to the track and watched some pretty good racing and enjoyed some $1 a can Blatz. I was a little tired Sunday too... getting to be a habit... Anyway, the SEC-Transportation didn't have a great night as he got stuck back in the pack in both his heat and the feature. But he raced well and maintained his points position. Second place overall! Pretty damn good, but it would sure be nice to see some updates on his web site. We had pretty good
attendance at the event, but we would like to see more junior member participation. However, the Sturgeon General and Sec-D'Fence did a fine job in
representing them. Great time was had by all!
I headed off to New York the following Monday, and after a canceled flight, I finally arrived. Did 10 minutes of work and we headed to the bar.
Who says New Yorkers aren't fun? I was tired again on Tuesday... go figure... Anyway, got some work done, enjoyed the city a bit more than last time (even if I didn't run into Sensation) and made it home OK.
Our "thought" of the week?
Why is it that raindrops, but snowfalls?
Don't they both come from the same place?
Got an update from the SEC-W/M a few weeks ago, but do you think I can find the damn email? Sounds like its a sure think that he's heading south for the winter... WAY south... Which means we'll have to nominate someone else at Deer Camp to A) Pick on... B) Say stupid things so we have reason to do A... and C)
Keep an eye on SEC-Transportation. I'm sure he'll have a great time... He is considering a weekly "update" from the other side of the planet, so we'll see how that works out...
8:45 Update: I found the email:
For Posting on the Curtamous Website:
It is with the deepest regrets that I wish to inform Bob's Buck Camp that I will not be in attendance this year. I will be
pursuing a dream that I have had since "Mr. Rick" taught me how to play the great game of fastpitch softball.
I will be traveling to Hawkes Bay, New Zealand as a paid player to play fastpitch softball. I am requesting a leave of absence from my post as Secretary of Weights and Measures for 5 months effective November 7, 2005. My sincere apologies go to the President and the rest of the camp for not being able to attend such a prestigious event. I will be sending correspondence from New Zealand to the Curtamous Website, kind of like the Toolman Diaries. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity that I must accept. I will be gone from November to the end of March, just in time for Fish Camp. I wish all members the best of luck at this year's camp and many blessings upon them.
Secretary of Weights and Measures
Ric Thompson
Professional Softball
Finally got my pics back from the fishing trip... pretty awesome, huh? We didn't
actually measure, but the smallie is "about" 20 inches and the walleye about 26...
I'm sure the FM will contest that, but it does make his catch from Canada last
year look big... Anyway, that was a GREAT day!
Here's some VERY useful info from Red Skelton...
TIPS FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE:
1. Two times a week, we go to nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then comes good food and Companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and an electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in."
10. Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces start with marriage.
12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
13. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust".
Well, that's all I have... I know a lot more happened over the past couple weeks, but I'm out of time... before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything." --Theodore Roosevelt
Must mean the junior members are very busy doing something...
Until next time, take care...
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
August
15, 2005 -
Happy Monday everyone! How's everyone? I hope all is well... I was "On-Call" all last week for work, and its over, so I'm pretty damn happy about that. Not a good week at all. But that's behind now, and this week will probably be crappy too, but for now, its all good...
We're at 6 days and counting to the Annual Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races. The crew will start out at The President's for booyah and a cookout. Then we'll head to the races to watch our own SEC-Transportation take home the checkered flag. And if you remember Deer Camp, (not that all of us do) you'll know what will happen next. Should be a great time.
Saw The President this weekend minutes after he arrived home from the Great Up North. Our fearless leader procured a new refrigerator this weekend and installed it. We should be all set to go.
The AG reports bear shit on Miss Hill...
Nice
slippers... Must be the AG's... The President didn't confirm, but reports on the contents of the AG's shorts may have confirmed it...
I spent much of my weekend on my "Honey-Do List"... Only my list is more of a "Hey you lazy no-good worthless
piece of crap, get off your lazy butt and do something-List"... So, between calls from work, I painted the porch and the front door threshold, cut the lawn, fertilized (which doesn't work very well with weed-n-feed in the bottle that's a year old),
scrubbed all the carpets, put up shutters on the garage
(MAJOR pain in the ass), and installed a new yard light. I also made a trip to the man's mall for deck wash, water sealer, and a new attic fan for the garage so I'm not bored next weekend either. No wonder I'm sore today...
My trip to The President's abode is explained by the fact that I needed to borrow his ladder and saws-all. All I can say about his ladder is that I have a hard time picturing him 20 feet up in the air on it. That sucker sways and shakes like a fat
lady's belly on a bad train track. I'd say it is in the same class as this one:
Ok, not that bad, but when you're 20 feet in the air, it seems that way... Can't "wait" to get back on it to put that attic fan in...
Our "thought" of the week?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
You'd think that would make sense...
Made it to the Brewer's game last Wednesday and had a good time. Cracked the first beer at 9am as we passed Denville on the way to Milwaukee. The Brew Crew got beat, but it was a good game. We sat on the 3rd base side, RIGHT in the sun, and holy crap was it hot... made the beer taste good, especially at those prices...
Reports from Townsend are that the FDA Chair and SEC-State did a fine job on their booyah Saturday. I got a couple bowls, and completely agree...
A co-worker from New York put in her two week notice last week, so someone has the great idea that I should head out there and do a "knowledge" transfer... that's funny...
but my brain is full... Bottom line is, I might be out of town the first three days of next week, so maybe no update... I wonder if anyone would notice?
Got this a couple weeks ago, but I can't remember from whom... pretty good...
A young man from Portland goes to Chicago to study
undertaking, his new profession. A month later he calls his father and says, "Hey, Pop! I just had a really exciting experience."
"What could be exciting about mortician work?" his father says.
The kid replies, "Good question. We got a pickup call from a hotel and they told us they had a couple who had both died in the middle of having sex. So the mortician grabbed his black suit, high hat, and gold tipped cane and away we went. When we got to the hotel we got into the elevator and proceeded to the correct floor. The mortician turned the doorknob and, with a touch of class, pushed open the door with that gold tipped cane. The couple were lying on the bed, side-by-side, and the man had a huge erection. The mortician knew this was problematic, so walked up and whacked the erection a good one with his cane."
"So, what's so exciting about that?"
"Well," says the son, "That's when the excitement started. We were in the wrong room."
Well, that's all I have... before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol." -- Unknown
I got sisters like that...
Until next time, whenever that is, take care...
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
August
8, 2005 -
Morning folks! We're looking at a VERY quick update today... I'm on call this week and already its hitting the fan... I'm REALLY looking forward to a fun week...
As far as I'm concerned, August 20th is set for the annual Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races. Pre-race lunch will be at The Presidents at a time to be announced, followed by racing whenever we get there... More details will be made available...
Our "thought" of the week?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what's the difference?
Better yet, when's it going to freaken rain again?
This really hit... how very, very true...
Remarkable Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.
Scary how true...
Here's one from work...
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns.
He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other.
He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was all that about, anyway?"
The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for upper management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."
Here's one from the FDA Chair, "This is the kind of church we should have at deer camp!";
Looked at my schedule and maybe it won't be so bad this week... well, it will be, but Wednesday I go to a Brewer game with a group from work... that should be a good time...
Well, that's about it... before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"How, given the canine teeth and close-set eyes that declare the human animal to be a predator, had we come up with the notion that oat bran is more natural to eat than chicken?" -- Valerie Martin
That's RIGHT! Give me a steak with a side of pork chops...
Until next time, take care...
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
PS. I believe SEC-W/M celebrates another year of bachelorhood... Make sure to wish him a good day Tuesday...
August 1, 2005 - Howdy folks! Probably a short update in store for you this week. Works' been busy as I'm the lone wolf in the office last week and this week, so there's just that little bit extra to do all the time. Plus there's been enough after hours crap to last a month or two... OK, enough whining about work...
Oh yeah,
happy August 1st...
Speaking of work, last week I got volunteered to do some grilling at work for a company lunch. No wonder nobody thinks I
don't do anything... I do... really... sometimes...
Looks like we're leaning toward August 20th for the annual Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races. So far that day will work, if not very well, for everyone at one time or another. The President has a booyah cooker lined up for the pre-race meal, so we'll see how that goes.
Spent a big part of Saturday moving Ma and Pa into town. Not a real great time, but here's hoping that they do well and acclimate to their new home.
The siblings are prepping for their annual family camping trip at Twin Bridge. Multiple days of campfires, beer, campfires and beer. Not a bad schedule... Not sure when/if I'll make the trip, but I should have it figured out by Friday...
Our "thought" of the week?
Do we make bombs better or worse?
I would think it depends on whether you're on the giving or receiving end...
This might be a little too mushy for this site, but I'm going with it anyway. Sometimes we need to be reminded that its not so bad and we need to quit bitching and being so crabby... Well, we can try anyway...
I'LL BE HAPPY WHEN...
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.
After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.
The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.
STOP WAITING ..
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs. (yea right)
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.
There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and, dance like no one's watching.
Personally, I've found that beer helps out with most of that... Like the old saying, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!".
OK, back to reality... got another possible replacement for "The Bus"... or, if its in good enough shape, maybe it will become the The President's new suburban...
I like the natural finish on the plywood...
Last but not least, I spent yesterday in the valley again watching what "should" be the last BBall tournament of the summer. The AG, FM. Jr. and Chief took home 3rd place, which is pretty good for them. They played well, and actually, had every opportunity to beat a good Appletown North team in the semis, but lost by one. Even though they played well and the
tourney was good, the highlite of the day was our lunch trip to a local establishment. Nothing like bar food to get the boys playing well...
Oh yeah, it
was fun teaching Max how to dial China's country code too... That should come in
handy at home... Gotta track him down though... I think I told him
the wrong one... its 86...
Well, that's about it... before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing." --Ralph Waldo Emerson
Is that the truth or what?
Until next time, take care...
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
Last Updated: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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