The curtamous page
February 2004 Archived Notes
February 23rd, 2004
– Good morning everyone!
Long time... two weeks since the last "real" update, and I hope
to have a good one today. I'm
already behind schedule as I had to go get my teeth scraped this morning and now
I'm way behind. Plus, these
frick’en people at work keep expecting me to help them with business issues...
ticks me off...
If
you checked in last week for my "mini" update, you'll know I was off
for President's Day and then I headed for the Windy City on Tuesday.
The President's Day Bunny Hunt was enjoyable if not short.
The snow was REALLY deep making the going very tough.
But it made for a good excuse to quit early.
I had many errands and such to do the rest of the day, so it was pretty
much uneventful.
The
trip to the Windy City was pretty much a bust as well. Other than the 28 beers (20oz. brews) the 4 of us had, I
really didn't get much accomplished. Nice
hangover though...
The
Friday before last I had the unusual pleasure of sharing my lunch hour at a
local establishment with a co-worker, the FDA Chair and the
SEC-Weights/Measures. We had a nice
lunch, shot some pool, and harassed our usual waitress Kathy who had a thing
about rolled up dollar bills... during
the course of our discussions, I brought up the fact that our company is
discussing paring down the workforce by 30% in various areas...
Mine isn't "supposed" to be affected, but you know how that
goes... I mentioned to the FDA
Chair, who works for the orange truckers, that he should check for any openings
over there... he suggested that I
go into business with The President, tandem trucking across country...
Now I don't know about you, but that idea scares the HELL out of me... lets hope it doesn't come to that.
I've
been hearing from the FM on and off via email, with mostly topics that don't
belong here. However, a bit ago he
sent me a nice picture that explains the REA: reason for the
SEC-Weights/Measures current disability. At
first I felt if wasn't appropriate for the site, but them the FM explained to me
that I was being a wussy... Possibly
true, but I think the picture actually is just border line disgusting... anyway, I'm going to post it after all, but damned if I can
find space right now... Check in
later in the week and see if I got it posted.
Well,
not much else going on really... we're
moving on scheduling Fish Camp 2004, so there's something to look forward to,
but other than that, and a possible wood making trip, not much else to talk
about...
I
don't know about you, but last week's joke in the "mini" update
cracked me up... along those lines,
here's another one:
After the service was over, one member of the
congregation had lingered after the other members had shook hands with the
priest on their way out. The priest recognized the young man as one whom he had
married a couple of months before.
As the young man shook hands with the priest he asked,
Father, do you believe someone should profit from the mistakes of others?"
"Certainly not," replied the preacher.
"Well...in that case...could I have the $50 back
that I gave you for marrying me?"
Well,
that's about all I have time for today... Before
I go, here are a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you
cry with your girlfriends." -Laurie Kuslansky-
Junior
members, remember this the next time you're whining about something...
Well,
take care, and have a GREAT week!
As
Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
February 16th,
2004
– Happy Presidents Day!!! Not
much of an update today, as I have the day off, and therefore, better things to
do than amuse you with my ramblings… Spent
the morning bunny hunting, which was unproductive, but non the less, very
enjoyable. The snow was deep though
and the going was tough… I went
with Zumbo, so it was a great time, but my hunting luck obviously was strong
today and canceled out even Zumbo’s skill…
Oh well…
I’m
off to Chicago tomorrow, so I won’t have time to do an update then either, so
it will wait until next week…
For
now, here’s a quick one that hits close to home…
A young boy (I think his name was Jake) was looking
through the family album and asked his mother, "Who's this guy on the beach
with you with all the muscles and long hair?"
"That's your father."
"Then who's that old bald-headed fat man who
lives with us now?"
…and
for our junior members, this week’s words of wisdom:
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -- Ernest Hemmingway.
If
you’re REALLY bored, feel free to read last week’s update below…
Well,
take care, and have a GREAT week!
As
Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
February 9th, 2004
– Morning folks! Happy
Monday... I've got a lot to cover
this week, so I better get started before they expect me to do some actual work
today...
First
off, I'd like to wish everyone a belated but Very Happy Groundhog's Day!!!
Clearly I was remiss in making this date in last week’s diatribe, which
was actually THE day!!! Plus, knowing our esteemed Foreign Minister's love of the
furry little mammals, I can't believe I forgot this national holiday...
so, go out and kiss a groundhog today!!!
Speaking
of the FM, we have been trading dialog over the last couple of weeks concerning
some hilarious (but too sensitive to publish) topics. You're probably all very aware of this fact, but the FM is a
funny man with a talent for the written word... Personally, I think he should start his own weekly column
that I could post to this site... What
do you think? Why waste all that
talent on me?
Last
week I got an email from a business associate at Cisco. He's our systems engineer out of Chicago, and I know him
pretty well. Good guy, despite the
fact that he lives in FIBland... Anyway,
just to show you how well he knows me, here's a little definition he sent me:
contumacious \kahn-too-MAY-shuss\ adjective
: stubbornly disobedient : rebellious
Example sentence:
The judge reprimanded the defendant for his
contumacious conduct and threatened to have him removed from court if there was
another outburst.
Did you know?
"Contumacious" is one of those words more
likely to show up on a vocabulary list or a standardized test than in everyday
speech. Legal contexts are another area where you might encounter this fancy
word for "rebellious" or "insubordinate." (The link between
"contumacious" and the law goes back to Latin, in fact. The Latin
adjective "contumax" means "rebellious," or, in specific
cases, "showing contempt of court.") "Contumacious" is
related to "contumely," meaning "harsh language or treatment
arising from haughtiness and contempt." Both "contumacious" and
"contumely" are thought to ultimately come from the Latin verb "tum
re," meaning "to swell" or "to be proud."
Tell
me THAT'S not hilarious... The guy
said as soon as he say it, it made him think of me...
I just don't understand why... Anyway,
it is now my new favorite word!
GREAT
NEWS!!! On the hunting front,
turkey permits were mailed last week, and I received mine! Its a late season, but that just means it should be warmer...
Word has it that Zumbo also received his permit, but also The President
and Attorney General applied and received permits.
Zumbo will have MANY weeks of turkey hunting this year!!!
From what I can tell, he's pretty fired up... as always, should be a
great time!!!
Speaking
of spring, I'm starting to get that feeling again... NO! Not that
feeling... the one where I want to start planning Fish Camp 2004!!!
Start checking your calendars and picking out weekends that you can
participate... I'm sure we'll shoot
for the 1st weekend of May again, but as always, we'll be as flexible as
possible to ensure maximum participation...
OK...
that last paragraph was written about 2 hours ago...
work is definitely getting in the way...
just a few more quick things...
The
Attorney General and Chief Inspector participated in the BB Tourney this weekend in Denmark. They took 6th and 5th place respectively...
best part was I got to see the FM and The President multiple times...
The
Pro Bowl last night was actually good!!! I
watched it right up to the end... at
first I wasn't, but then I thought about the long months of NO FOOTBALL, and
figured I'd get one last fix... the
fact that it was a fun exciting game was a huge bonus...
Finally,
the Toolman Diaries continue...
II have MANY comments about his adventures, but the most obvious one is
his claim to clean house playing cards with his buddies...
knowing his talents at the card table, either he's lying, or his buddies
are even more pathetic at gaming than he is...
I want to play cards with these guys...
Speaking
of our SEC-Weights/Measures, he dropped off some venison yesterday...
he's the story that follows:
Once there was a family who was given some venison by
a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and
boys. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was
that they were eating.
"Is it beef?" The younger son asked.
"Nope."
"Is it pork?" the older son asked.
"Nope."
"Heck, we don't know, Dad!" the first son
exclaimed.
"I'll give you a clue," the Dad said,
"It's what your mom sometimes calls me."
"Spit it out!" cried the younger son,
"We're eating Asshole!!"
Well,
that's about all I have time for today... yesterday
was a special day for me, and on that note, he's a few words of wisdom for our
junior members:
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex
life at all." -- Rodney Dangerfield
Bingo...
which reminds me, I need to visit the big city more...
Next weeks update may be late, as we have off on Monday and I'm heading
to Chicago Tuesday... we'll see...
Well,
take care, and have a GREAT week!
As
Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
February 2nd, 2004
– Howdy everyone!
Happy Groundhog’s Day!!! Hope
everyone had a good weekend! The
Superbowl was pretty good, so at the least the weekend should have ended well,
even if you were cheering for the Panthers...
I was, but since it was such a good game, it was hard to be too
disappointed... today everyone is
talking about the stupid halftime show... If
it wasn't politically incorrect, I'd tell you that if I wanted to see naked
monkey breast, I'd go to the zoo, but that just wouldn't be right...
serves the NFL right for having MTV do the halftime show.
Who are they trying to target? 18-25
year olds? Are THEY the ones
spending all the money? NO!!!
Its the 35-50 year olds that are spending the serious cash...
idiots...
Otherwise
my weekend was largely spent installing my garage door opener.
Pa Nelson got it for me last summer in leau of lawn cutting, snow
shoveling and birthday gifts for the rest of my natural life...
needless to say, he's been bugging the hell out of me about when I'm
going to install it... He thought I
should have installed it before the DOOR was installed for God's sake...
he's Mr. Patience...
Anyway,
back to the door opener... the
things that I was worried most about went pretty well... however, the engineers that designed this damn thing no doubt
spent countless hours trying to find incredibly unique and complicated ways to
design and construct this thing... and
then, to top it off, THEY LET A DAMN MONKEY WRITE THE INSTALLATION MANUAL!!!
I wish I would have become an engineer...
those guys must have a great time...
they probably wake up in the middle of the night laughing, thinking about
the poor SOB that's trying to figure out why the damn chain keeps falling off... to wrap up the story, after about 7 hours of work, it was
installed and operational...
One
more note... the engineers were
REALLY thinking when they did this... after
everything is FINALLY operation, you have to run a bunch of tests and
adjustments... Well, halfway thru
this part of the process, they whole damn thing stops working...
DEAD! No lights, no
warnings, nothing... I figured I
blew a breaker or it got unplugged or something...
no go... So now I'm thinking
I blew the damn motor, and I'm pissed! Then
I start hoping I just blew a fuse in the unit, so I grab the manual, written in
1st grade monkey, and start looking for a fuse...
there is none... then I see
the troubleshooting page, so I check that out...
The first item to check is "Is it plugged in?"
My hopes take a SERIOUS plunge... Finally,
noted at the bottom of the page, in small print, hidden under the 800 number is
a note that there is a motor safety sensor that kills the whole unit for 20
minutes if it gets too hot... Hmmm... maybe
that's it... I'm about 15 minutes
into this, but I figure I have time to grab a beer...
by the time I get back, ITS BACK ON!!!
THIS IS GREAT!!! A BUILT IN
BEER BREAK!!! So I go about doing
more testing, and the thing shuts off again...
TIME FOR ANOTHER BEER!!! And
let me tell you, and this point in the process, beer breaks are a GOOD thing...
So I’m going to write to the engineering department of this company and
thank them for their over-engineered product, their manuals written in 1st grade
monkey, but MOST of all, for the built in beer breaks at the end of the
installation...
Wow...
I wrote A LOT more about that than I planned...
OK, here's the real highlite of the week...
Our SEC-Weights/Measures has indeed begun submitting journal entries to
document his recovery period... I
started posting them last week under "Toolman
Diary" and hope you get a chance to check them out...
I'm enjoying them thoroughly! I'll
try to keep up on them as the week’s progress, so there'll be a reason to
check out the site during the week too...
Before
I start wrapping up, I just want to make sure that everyone on the BBC got their
newsletter... Its gotten limited
but good reviews... I think that
the standard has been set so high the last couple years, its hard to get too
excited about it, but I think its still a great read...
Here's
one, that's not really a joke, but a humorous, feel good story with a point...
Probably not what you would expect here, but I'd never heard it before,
and I liked it, so here goes....
WEAKNESS
BECOMES STRENGTH
Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your
biggest strength. Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who
decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a
devastating car accident.
The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo
master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three
months of training the master had taught him only one move.
"Sensei," the boy finally said,
"Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"
"This is the only move you know, but this is the
only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.
Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher,
the boy kept training.
Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his
first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches.
The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent
became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match.
Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.
This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more
experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the
boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the
match when the sensei intervened.
"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him
continue."
Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a
critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin
him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.
On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every
move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was
really on his mind.
"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only
one move?"
"You won for two reasons," the sensei
answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws
in all of judo. And second, the only known defense for that move is for your
opponent to grab your left arm."
The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest
strength.
Kinda
one of those "moral" stories...
Well,
I think that's about all I have for today, but before I go, here are a few words
of wisdom for our junior members:
"Don't argue with an idiot, people watching may
not be able to tell the difference." -- Unknown...
Well,
take care, and have a GREAT week!
As
Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
Last Updated: Friday, January 30, 2009
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