The curtamous page
September 2004 Archived Notes
September
27, 2004 - Howdy folks! Welcome to the last week of September... You know, I really should consider doing this
some time other than Monday. More often than not, I get here and I draw a total blank. Like last week, my brain was so busy clearing brain cells out from the painting weekend that I could barely remember anything. This week, I didn't do anything exciting, so I have nothing to write about... and I'm not too creative on Monday mornings... Well, that's enough bitching for this week... on with the show...
First off, football: The Badgers, despite "looking" like crap, won the game, so that's a good thing. Typical Badgers though, you have NO idea of how good they are
at this point. They could just fold against tougher teams like the last few years, or really compete and
squeak out some tough games... You just never seem to know... The Packer game? Well, I don't feel as bad about it as I did last week after the Bare game, but a loss is a loss. Personally, after all the to-do about the defensive coordinator and how they'll be aggressive and better, I think he should be walked out the door. How can you lay your base defense the ENTIRE FIRST HALF when you're getting lit up like that. The ability to adjust to game
conditions in the NFL is a MUST, and has not been on of Sherman's strong points. And now it looks like his defensive coordinator is even worse. Fun game to watch though...
On a side note, the Mayor of Denmark had her roof replaced this weekend. Red, of roofing fame for doping the FM's roof LAST week, came over with a crew and replaced her cap. I assume its done even though I wasn't there, but I am wondering how the FM got preference over the Mayor to get his roof done first... Some day we'll have to check into that...
Speaking of the FM, I saw him at the Denmark game Friday night... Parents night, and I saw him exactly one pace behind his lovely bride as they made their way to the end of the field for
introductions at halftime. You could almost visualize the ring in his nose...
I got lots more that I'm sure I could cover, but work beckons... Its been busy here as my co-worker Stan had his appendix burst last week and he's been out... but wishes to Stan and a SPEEDY recovery! It was so wild around here last week that I had to cancel my day off on Friday and come into work... so much for my first day out bowhunting... I hope to get this Friday off, but we'll see...
With all these junior members getting older and older, I felt that this message from the SEC-Weights/Measures was extremely good:
The Wedding Test
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me.
That one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.
It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We could not ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
I've seen that before, but it still cracks me up...
That's about it... Sorry for the short update, but before I go, here are some words of wisdom for the junior members:
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
Stan can take that one to heart too... ;-)
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
September
20, 2004 - Morning everyone... no, not a
good morning at all... do we even need to bring up the Packer game? Pathetic... and now I need to deal with
Bare fans the entire week... My buddy B.O. called me yesterday on the cell BEFORE the game was even over... he could barely talk he was so damn happy... in the background I could hear a bar full of FIBs chanting "Green Bay Sucks"... painful...
VERY painful...
Speaking of pain, I'm definitely sore from the weekend's work. (In more than one way in fact!) Well, Bob's Buck Camp cabin is painted, and from the sore back, arms, and legs, we think we did a good job. We also did a good job on Friday and Saturday night from a social point of view, also contributing to my soreness... Great time was had by all though...
The one painting issue we had was the inside of the outhouse... The AG talked The President into painting the interior a bright
florescent PINK. It almost burned my eyes out the first time I ventured in there... I tried to call the AG on Saturday morning to voice my concerns, but he was already
gone golfing. But he did send me this email:
hey curt,
my mother said that u wanted to talk about the pink outhouse. well there is not much to talk about except for it is PINK!!! cant change it now, and
I am going to try to get my dad to make it a tradition. you know to paint the outhouse a
florescent color when it needs a coat.
well that is all for now and I will talk to ya later
Attorney General
What's the world coming? Lets hope it doesn't need another coat for quite some time...
I KNOW that we discussed a lot of camp business, but for some reason I can't remember a thing this morning... I wonder why?
I would like to thank The President, FDA Chair, SEC-State, and our only participating junior member, the SEC-Transportation, for all their help on the painting. They did a great job, and except for needing to clean up for the SEC-Trans, all went well. I assume that you noticed the FM was AGAIN not in attendance... He sent me this email late Friday:
Red came to the rescue. There is currently a dump truck and a pile of shingles parked in my front yard as evidence. It was getting close...I thought I may not have an excuse and might actually have to show up! Brett's consecutive record of 191 straight games started pales in comparison to my growing "no-show" streak!
Be careful out there. Insure that no Senior Members get hurt.
So that's his latest excuse... I'm still concerned that he'll find a way out of attendance at the Booyah
cook-off...
Did I mention yesterday's game really sucked? Well, at least the Badgers won... barely...
but a win is a win...
Last week I met up with The President's future son-in-law at a local establishment to discuss "financial" issues... he's some kind of half ass financial consultant now, so we talked about all the money I don't have... Then he bought me lunch and I kicked his ass in two games of pool. Good time! Now we have to meet again to discuss the analysis he's doing. Hopefully we'll repeat the rest of the process... looking forward to it.
Oh boy! This is good... The FDA Chair sent me this link... The web page has the following picture:
Wow, were they ever hard up for someone to take a picture of...
As I'm sure you could guess, The President was on his game this weekend. Here's another of his ideas:
You think ANYONE would ever touch those? I think I might get some of those to hide MY money in... maybe the wife will stay out of my pocketbook then...
Gotta start wrapping up... here's an oldie but goody from the FM:
Subject: Shipwreck
A Junior Member, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a deserted island.
After being there a while, they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red, with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Junior Member .
Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it, but the dog got jealous and began growling fiercely until the Junior Member took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor, was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the Junior Member had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, but they slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening; red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze--perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the Junior Member started to get "those feelings" again.
He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear. . .
"Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
Typical junior member...
One last thing... I've been notified that I will be arrested for the March of Dimes Jail and Bail... if you want to donate, let me know... I have two sign up sheets. One for those who will donate to get me out of jail, and those that we willing to donate if they keep me in jail. So far, I haven't gotten anyone to sign up to get me out... GREAT...
That's about it... this is going to be a crappy week... I can tell already... But before I go, here are some words of wisdom for the junior members:
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time." -- Catherine Zandonella.
Tough to argue with that one...
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
September
14, 2004 - Howdy Folks! Welcome to Tuesday! We're a day late and a dollar short (as I often say) but better late than never. My PC at work had some major issues yesterday and I was unable to do pretty much anything. Looks like I'm in need of a new hard drive which should arrive today. Hopefully the old PC lasts that long...
On to bigger and better things! The Packers had a HUGE win last night over the Panthers of Carolina. Not only do the Packers come out of the gate swinging, but I also win the Cheesehead/Redneck Classic. Jack the Cat will be sending up some original Carolina BBQ Sauce. This sauce is mustard based, so I'm looking forward to it... I will admit I was VERY leery of the Packers based on their preseason showing, so Jack the Cat may see a little of Wisconsin on his doorstep some day... Maybe a little Brick cheese, huh?
His beautiful bride will think is smells just like him... Well, its onto Bare week... should be a lot more fun...
I spent last Saturday making more progress on the finishing touches on the deck project. Here I thought I had the damn thing almost done. Well, I move about two yards of stone out of a flower bed, washed it about 500 times, and then got it under the deck. I also got the lattice on and the deck gate completed, so we're one "mother-in-law" railing away from absolute completion. Can't wait...
With the 2004 Bow season starting Saturday, I also started preparations for that. I took a run with SEC-Weights/Measures to the Man's Mall on Sunday to pick up a turn signal light, and ended up bringing home a new bow target. Got that setup in the garage and starting tuning my shooting. Not too bad for the first time of the year.
I won't be out in the woods this opening weekend of the bow hunt due to the BBC Cabin Painting project this weekend. We'll be heading north to slap a new coat on the old girl. The President stopped over on Friday to borrow a hose as he was heading north to pressure wash the cabin so we're ready this weekend. I got a call from him on Saturday, and it turns out he left his washer out in the garage last winter and the cold caused a MAJOR leak. SO, he and the AG washed the cabin by hand. We'll be fine... Anyway, if you're not on the painting crew, either get on it, or get ready for your bill...
We also have major news from the BBC senior staff. This year the FDA Chair will be taking place in the annual Booyah cookoff at Circle Tap. Here's his announcement:
Bob’s Buck Camp Booyah
As all of you should know, our esteemed FM is a giving, and thoughtful guy. Evidence of this can be found in the time he spends supporting local charitable organizations. One of the ways he does this is organizing a Booyah Cookoff each fall. (It’s also very likely he does this as a cover to get out of the house once in a while)
A couple of weeks ago the FM sent me information on this years cookoff, with the suggestion that it be a BBC event. That seemed to be a great idea, so I bounced it off a few senior bored member, as we agreed to go for it. The best part of this event is that the FM has to be there. (Dixie promised he would be in attendance) Also, our President will also be there, as part of the festivities. ( The FM says he is in rare form for this event)
Here are the details
Date: October 10th. (No Packer Game that day)
Time: Cooking will start at 5:00 A.M. Booyah will be ready at 11:00 a.m.
Place: Circle Tap
I’m hoping to get some volunteers. There’s some work in getting set up, cutting the veggies, de-boning the chicken, etc, but mostly it’s a lot of sitting around BS’ing , drinking, etc. I need at least 3-4 guys (6 if one of them is the Sec. Weight and Measures, since he finds a way to cancel out a real worker). I believe the sausage stuffer, and the sturgeon general are already. Put something out on the
guestbook if you can help. Volunteers will be looked upon favorably by the
Prez.
FDA chair.
Wow! This should be a doosey!!! MAKE SURE you mark your calendars so you can attend. Should be a GREAT time, and we're thinking that the FM will actually BE THERE!!! No small miracle to have the FM attend his first BBC event in 3 years.
Speaking of
the FM, he and I had QUITE and email discussion last week. Just cracks me
up... The FDA Chair was just an innocent bystander during the whole thing,
but it was a good time... The FM also has some material for the site, but
I don't have time to clean it up, so it'll wait until next week...
Got something that should confuse the junior membership for a long time. Its a pair of signs that we'll put up at the BBC cabin:
We'll have junior members going every which way!!!
TBone Racing's season is over, and they ended up on a low note with equipment problems again this past weekend. His distributor blew and they ended up out... Also ended up losing his third place standing, but what a GREAT year. If it wasn't for Wood's incredible year, he would have had rookie of the year honors. As it was, he should be very proud of his efforts. Congrats!
Here's a quick one:
An elderly doctor and a Baptist minister were seated next to each other on the plane. The plane was delayed at the start due to some technical problems. Just after taking off, the pilot offered his apologies to the passengers and announced that a round of free drinks would be served.
When the charming air-hostess came round with the trolley, the doctor ordered a gin and tonic for himself. The hostess then asked the minister whether he wanted anything.
He replied, "Oh No! Thank you. I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol."
The elderly doctor promptly handed his gin and tonic back to the air-hostess said, "Madam, I did not know there was a choice."
That's about it... Gotta catch up on work I didn't get done yesterday... Before I go, here are some words of wisdom for the junior members:
"I can resist everything except temptation." -- Oscar Wilde.
Well, that certainly applies to Deer Camp, now doesn't it!
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
September
7, 2004 - Are You Ready for Some FOOTBALL!!! Holy crap the NFL season is only two days away... Awesome! However, my biggest concern is: TWO PUNTERS!?!?!? What in tarnation is going on in Packerland? AND Couch is gone? For the first time in the Sherman era, I'm concerned... If you release Couch because of lack of production and totally ignore his potential, WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING WITH TWO PUNTERS? Oh my, I'm going to hurt myself here...
All I know is the Packers better play well on Monday. I've got Wisconsin cheese up against a case of Carolina sauce. (Carolina sauce you say? ME too... Better be
good.) Big Jack from the Carolinas and I have a friendly wager on this one, so assuming the Packers win, it'll be barbeque time!
Well, at least the Badgers started out well, trouncing UCF, despite not playing well. That's what they should do. Maybe this will be a good year for them... Hopefully Davis's eye is OK, otherwise put a patch on the boy and start yelling "AHOY THERE
MATIES, LINEBACKER OFF THE POOP DECK"!
Oh yeah... Happy Labor Day...
Saw the SEC-Weights/Measure and SEC-Transportation Sunday... they stopped over to "borrow" some firewood... they stopped over at prime "break" time as I was in the middle of more fence erecting... yes, I'm putting up another fence between the freaken garage and deck... Now the dog has its own little fenced in area...
yippy skippy...
T-Bone Racing delivered poor results this week due to a broken hub... with a few labs left in the feature, it seems his
"wheel came off" and he ended up last, and hopes for a second place in the point standings are pretty much gone... not a bad year despite that...
Speaking of the SEC-Weights/Measure, you're probably aware that he's on the wagon, kinda permanently... I think he can have one
occasionally, so here's my recommendation:
Geez! I almost forgot to mention Saturday's
momentous event. I headed north to Shawano to meet up with the Sausage Stuffer to do a little fishing. The Nelson clan was up there on their annual Labor Day weekend getaway. Despite thick fog, I arrived before the Stuffer climbed out of bed, but I did get he and "Curly" out on the boat a little after nine... Quite early for the Stuffer! And the
amazing thing is, WE CAUGHT FISH! Lots of them! I'd say we caught a good two dozen keepers, destined for Ma and Pa Nelson's fry pan.
Will wonders never cease? A special thanks to Curly for performing most of the filleting...
While in the middle of "fencing" during my Labor Day, I had a surprise visit from The
President and AG. More break time! After some edification, we discussed the
cabin painting project. We're looking at possibly the 18th of September... I'll send out an email, but let me know if you're interested!
After a couple refreshments, The President was heading home to build himself a homemade charcoal pizza oven... Can't wait for this one!
The President ever tell you about the time he got stranded in the wilderness on a snowmobile? Probably a life or death situation, but being The President, he came out unscathed. Here's how:
For the first time in a while, I heard from the FM. He sent me some dandies, but I'll only publish two for now...
This first one takes a stab at my ancestors:
Been feeling kind of guilty about submitting very little material as of late, but a chance encounter recently with my old friend "Sparky" brought some issues to the surface that I can't help but share. We call him "Sparky" for his choice of profession-pulling and tying wires for a living. He is also one of the best storytellers I have ever encountered. Your ramblings last week regarding the church picnic reminded me of this one.....
Sparky grew up and still resides in an area inhabited by two Catholic churches that are very well established and lie just a couple miles apart on the same road. For generations, one of them has been commonly referred to as the "Irish Church," with the other being named the "Bohemian Church." Since Sparky and his family are long-time members of the Irish Church, there was seldom occasion to attend the other. One day, as Sparky was driving down the road with his young son in tow, and they passed by the Bohemian Church.
"Dad, the youngster piped up, "do any real people go to that church?" Sparky was a bit confused. "Why, yes son, people go to Mass there every
Sunday. Most of them are our friends and neighbors." Now it was time for the lad to be confused. "But,
Dad", he replied, "I never knew REAL people went to that church. I thought it was just for Bohemians!"
I think of that story every time I pass that church.
FM
If you haven't identified "Sparky" yet, this one will help. It had my right up to the end, and I laughed my a$$ off...
Sparky comes from a rather large family, with the larger percentage of siblings being of the female persuasion. When each of the young lasses entered adulthood, Sparky's father would decree that the time was proper for each of them to select a mate....or, rather, pursue the mate that he had
pre-selected for them. When the youngest daughter's time rolled around, the elder statesman decreed, "Girly, the time has come to snatch your mate and get hitched. I have selected a fine, young single man who shows great potential for success and wealth. And, better yet, he lives just across the next section. Go get your man." Well, even though it was already after dark, the young lass was so excited to encounter her mate that she immediately took off running across the fields to rush and find the young gentleman who resided across the next section. As Sparky tells the story, however, it happened to be a very dark AND foggy night. The maiden apparently got her directions crossed enroute and, as Sparky tells it, " she never did find that successful and wealthy neighbor...her travels wound up taking her to the wrong farmstead and instead, she ended up coming home with a Nelson!"
I just LOVE that story!
FM
Nothing like giving the FDA Chair, and the whole Nelson clan for that matter, a little jab when its well done!
That's about it... Day late and a dollar short I always say... Before I go, here are some words of wisdom for the junior members:
"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?" -- Denis Leary.
Now that's a good rule of thumb... I'm not sure what that means as far as cocktail hour is concerned, but we'll let that go...
Bow season is less than two weeks away, and I'm pretty sure sure squirrel season opens Saturday... fall is HERE!!!
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
****LATE UPDATE****
Straight from the FM's desk, 8:50am:
It may be too late, but I wanted to try and sneak this in before this week's update. Witnessed a conversation this weekend that truly defines the BBC mentality.I was in the midst of working my tail off around the ranch Saturday when I happened to hear an important news update on the radio. It was a warning directing anyone elderly or in poor health to stay indoors due to the high heat and humidity levels. That was all I needed to hear. I dropped my duties and headed over by the Prez for an executive summit. It just so happened that the Prez had some extra beverages on hand that he was looking to get rid of, so I gladly lended a hand.
Right in the middle of this pops in the Sec. Weights and Measures, and he proceeded to fill us in on the details of his exciting life. He started to explain that he was in the process of shopping for some archery equipment, with the intent of taking up bow hunting this season.
Here's the highlight of the conversation:
SWM: " I figured, since I can't get or keep a girlfriend I might as well buy a bow and spend
my time more productively out in the woods."
Prez: "Do you have one now?"
SWM: " Not currently. I just don't know what it is. Women are really hard to figure out."
Prez: "I was talking about a bow."
Now, how does it get any better than that? My weekend was complete at that point, and it was
only Saturday!
Now THAT sums
it up!!!
Last Updated: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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