The curtamous page
July 2004 Archived Notes
July
26, 2004 - Good morning all! Welcome to Monday! I hope everyone is doing great! After such an info packed update last week, I don't really have much this week. I think it took me a couple days just to recover from all the excitement. I do have a few things, and thankfully, the FM has been in contact... so here we go...
The BIGGEST news of the week is that my fence is completed! Worked my ASS off on Saturday and got the remaining poles set, rails up, and as of 6:30 or so
Saturday evening, the remaining boards up. Actually, it looks pretty nice, but it REALLY makes the backyard look small. Hopefully someday I'll get some before/after pics out there for all to see...
Also last week our TV died. Well, over the last few months the Chief Inspector and my lovely bride have been after me to get a new 32" HDTV. I had them put off 'till Christmas, but with this new event, I had no choice. We picked it up on Friday night, and luckily the FDA Chair and his beautiful bride were in town, so he could help me carry it in the house. Sucker is HEAVY.
So after spending over 4 figures on the set, I ALSO had to help pick up a new entertainment center on Saturday. So of course, after finishing the fence at 6:30 Saturday night, I had this fricken TV stand to put together. Well, after 10 hours of fencing, I wasn't in a very good mood to be putting together a 10,000 piece hunk of furniture, but by 10:30, it was done and everything was in place. Looks pretty good... Maybe some day the Chief and the missus will pry themselves off of it and I can watch something... I damn well better get it for the
Packer games...
Sounds like we're on for August the 7th for the annual Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races, despite the fact that I haven't had many formal responses... If you're out there reading, let me know...
Speaking on T-Bone Racing, SEC-Transportation had his ears lowered last week... He's back to looking like a 12 year old... He was in the Denmark Lions Parade yesterday with the rest of the T-Bone crew... looked good, but I think they should have sat him on a tricycle...
Zumbo mentioned some woodchuck issues in the guestbook last week... Well, he was kind enough to send
proof that the FM is NOT minding his woodchuck stock very well... That, or his herd is getting so big that they're starting to migrate... I hope they don't start eating my fence...
The FM was in contact again last week and sent a long some pics of his prize catch north of the border... Check
'em out, as its a pretty nice fish... But you tell me, does the
first pic look like a the same fish as in the
second pic? You be the judge...
Time to start wrapping up... last week I whined about not having many jokes left in the storage file... Well, I did some side work last week and found some material... Everyone knows about dumb blond jokes, right? Did you know that they have a whole bunch of "Dumb Junior
Member Jokes" out there? Here's a sampling:
Q: How do you make a junior member's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: What does a junior member and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: How do you get a junior member out of a tree?
A: Wave
Q: What do you call a zit on a junior member's ass?
A: A brain tumor.
Q: Why did the junior member scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the junior member have tire tread marks on his back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the junior member keep a coat hanger in his back seat?
A: In case he locks the keys in his car.
Q: Why did the junior member drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the junior member get so excited after he finished his jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
That's about all I have... Not too bad an update, considering the uneventful week I had. Maybe SEC-Weights/Measures can get us an update on his "blind-date" for next week. Lets all hope the poor girl IS blind. Also, this coming weekend is "family camping". I still don't if I'll show, but they will be celebrating the Sausage Stuffer and his beautiful bride's (My lovely older sister) 30th
anniversary on Saturday night. I was their cute little ring bearer, so I hope I can make it... either way, Happy 30th to the both of them!
That's about it... Before I go, in honor of the big anniversary this week, here's a bit of wisdom for our junior members:
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman it to do all over again: 80%.
Percentage of American women who say they'd marry the same man: 50%.
Junior members, keep that in mind... they're NEVER satisfied...
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
July
19, 2004 - Howdy Folks! Welcome to Monday! Its been two weeks since the last update, so I should have a lot to cover. There's no way I'll remember everything I that's happened, so feel free to remind me of any major events if needed... lets get started.
Well, I missed last week's update due to a trip south to the Windy city. I had to do some maintenance on Monday, and Tuesday we spent some time with a vendor (discussing business) on the golf course. Had a pretty good time, but since I had to drive back afterward, I couldn't partake in as many refreshments as I'd normally do. Great time though, and I was able to shoot
56/50 with the Chief Inspector's new clubs. Good purchase. On Thursday, after returning home, we had ANOTHER golf outing at work. Shot a 55/54 and again had a great time... I don't golf all year and then have to get out there twice in one week. I wish I could golf more often, but who has the time OR money?
The big happening of the past week was Ma Nelson's 80th birthday. She turned another page last Thursday, and in honor, we had a BIG party for her on Sunday at the VFW in
Bellevue. Preparations were a good time as we went crabbing on Wednesday AND Saturday. The FDA Chair provided leadership on both trips and we were able to catch a nice mess of crawdads for the party. Oh, we had a few beers too... Funny how the presence of beer increases participation. The crabs turned out
EXCELLENT. Thanks to all who helped out, including the newbies from
Appleton...
The birthday party yesterday was great. It was like a big family reunion on both sides with a neighborhood party thrown in. Got to see a lot of folks that I don't get to see enough of, but there is always too little time to spend with each of them. Thanks to everyone that showed.
The FDA Chair was in his glory yesterday as he was the event chairman. He was in charge AND made the booyah. Holy Cow! Was the booyah ever good! We also had the crabs, and thanks to my cousin Gutter who procured some fresh peas, the Mayor was able to make up some Oos Moos Noos too. Summer isn't the same without Oos Moos
Noos.
Thankfully, The President was able to find time in his busy schedule to attend the party. He showed up with The First Lady and the
Attorney General. Their attendance really made everyone's day. We were even able to conduct some business, but we'll cover that later...
Other than the party, I guess no a whole lot happened over the past two weeks. I DID get my fence started thanks to Zumbo. He showed up the Saturday before last with the tractor and we got some post holes dug. If it wasn't for tree roots, rocks, and A LOT OF HARD CLAY, it would have gone very well. With a little sweat, we were able to get all the holes dug and half the posts in. A HUGE thanks to Zumbo for his help. The next day I got the rails and boards up on the first half of the fence as well as the gate. Its looking pretty good so far. Did I mention "THANK YOU" to Zumbo? Couldn't have done it without him...
seems to me the wife still owes him a case of beer...
The Inspector and FM junior-junior played b-ball out at the trout festival this past weekend. I only made the first game due to party commitments, but they looked pretty good. Junior-junior can foul with the best of them, especially when his jock strap is laying on the ground. I guess they took 3rd, which isn't bad... Congrats!
At the party on Sunday The President set a tentative date for Bob's Buck Camp Night at the Races. We're looking at August 7th. Senior members seem to have that night open, so we're going to shoot for that evening. Everyone can drop a line in the
guestbook and let us know if they can attend. SEC-Transportation took 5th in the feature this past week so he's doing really well. Keep up with his progress at his
website.
Another topic discussed yesterday is the deadline for Hunter's Choice permits. Sounds like unit 49B, the site of Bob's Buck Camp, is NOT a T-Zone this year, so we should try to get a couple permits "just in
case".
I do want to make a quick report on a tragedy north of the border. In a senseless loss of life, six were lost. Check out the picture below:
My condolences go out to those who lost their loved ones...
I am REALLY running low on jokes for this section. Here's one of my last ones:
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and
died." The second man shakes his head.
"That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
Well, that's it for today... Pretty long update, but I KNOW there is SO much more I
should cover. I mean, I never even got into the canceled blind date, all the
wedding plans, or even elections, but they will have to wait for another time...
Before I go, here's a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused." -- Anonymous
Junior members... cracking us up for another generation...
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
July
6, 2004 - Good Morning everyone! Welcome to Tuesday! The update is a day late due to the observed holiday yesterday. In case I forgot, Happy 4th of July!!! I had a nice 4th... Zumbo stopped by to discuss one of my "projects" and we tipped a few while planning and monitoring the Chief Inspector's attempts at lighting my garage on fire with his fireworks display. Had a good time...
The weekend had its ups and downs on the home front "projects". At the insistence
of the Mrs, I attempted to start the illustrious "fence" project. After TWO trips to Menards, I started out with the old post hole digger. After attempting three fence posts and encountering two roots and one rock, I gave up... This led to Zumbo's visit on the
fourth to discuss the use of his tractor mounted post hole digger... We almost have it figured out, but it may take a few more cold ones... That Zumbo, he's quite a guy...
My day continued to go downhill as I assembled the Mrs's new picnic table. It was one of those kits that has everything pre-cut and pre-drilled. Well, the guy that did the drilling must have been drunk, because the damn thing is
awful crooked... I gave up on any further projects after that fiasco and grabbed another beer...
Yesterday's work went better as I got a good start at my retaining wall behind the garage... Those damn railroad ties are HEAVY! But I got the five I bought in place and only need two more...
the trick is getting them home without a hernia...
The REALLY good news of the weekend was the homecoming of the MG. The SEC-Transportation stopped over yesterday morning with his "trailer" and we headed out to Zumbo's ranch to recover the car from storage. After some minor huffing and puffing, we got it loaded,
transported, unloade, and backed into my garage. After enduring the scorn of the Mrs, we got it washed off and parked. Should be a lot of fun working on it...
The Sausage Stuffer will have to come over one of these days and check it out...
Saw the FDA Chair and his beautiful bride on Sunday at Ma/Pa Nelsons. Had a nice visit with them... Then I also had the luck of running into SEC-State and HIS beautiful bride yesterday at the same location. Seems to me SEC-State is turning a year older this week... Happy Birthday Mr.
Secretary!!!
Junior-junior stopped over yesterday to see the Chief Inspector as well as beg for money. Luckily, the Mrs. took the checkbook
(again) and he had to go home with nothing but a promise of future payment. Seems they want to play ball at the Trout Festival later this month and it costs money. I told him to go in the FM's sock drawer and make a
withdrawal...
Speaking of the FM, last week's contest finally had a few entries... I liked the first two responses. However, I'll have to give out co-prizes to the "proctologist" reference and the "Top Ten" list. (#5 was my favorite.) Nice job to all that entered!!! If you have ideas for any future contests, let me know!
Haven't heard from The President for another week... I'm going to have to track him down and see what's up... word is he was north this past weekend with the ENTIRE family, including the lovely First Lady. Bet they had a GREAT time!!!
Well, that's about all I have for this week... Kinda boring, but what do you expect... here's a quick little story that I found that's kinda right up our alley...
Curt and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Curt complained, 'We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!'
'OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp,' said Bob.
Well, that's it for today... Before I go, here's a few words of wisdom for our junior members:
"Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother." -- Ken Dodd
Time to book a flight...
Until next time, take care, and have a GREAT week!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
Last Updated: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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