October 27, 2003 – Howdy Folks!  Well, things are going better on the home front...  Pa Nelson came home Thursday and is feeling better, so that's a pretty good thing...  I'm "hoping" that my concrete job is starting today...  The Denmark Vikings played a great game Thursday night and almost pulled off a big upset over the rival Spartans, and the Packers didn't lose this weekend...  (we won't mention the Badgers football team, but the Badger hockey team swept this weekend.)  Overall, things aren't bad...

 

I had the pleasure of seeing the FM at the Viking game Thursday night, and we had a nice little talk.  The FM sent me two items last week, one of which I'll try to get on the website next week concerning Zumbo's hunting preserve, and another concerning The President's sweater that just isn't appropriate for this site...  You'll have to email me if you want a copy of that one...

 

I also had the pleasure of receiving two emails from our Buddy Jack.  The first one is a VERY funny video concerning the sacrifices that we all make as hunters.  I'll try to find a way to link to it, but its kinda big, so I'll see what I can do.  The second was a nice little thought of the day:

 

Subject: Thought of the Day!

 

This may explain why Curt is not a very clear thinker.

 

Never hold your farts in.  They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get shitty ideas from.

 

Nice...  it could explain quite a few of the ideas generated at Bob's Buck Camp, but then again, very little gas is held in, so that can't be it...

 

I got a couple reports from the work crew that headed north this past weekend.  Sec-Weights/Measures stopped by to drop off the chainsaw and drink my last beer and reported a great time by all.  Sounds like a lot of work was completed.  I just received a more detailed email from our FDA Chair that covers more ground:

 

Subject: Weekend Update

 

Just thought I'd provide an update as to this weekend's activities at the Camp for you web page:

 

The Surgeon general and I got up there about 8:30 Friday.  The Prez, the Attorney General were already there, as well as the Sec. Weights and Measures, and the Sec. Trans.  After the usual greetings, etc., I had to get rid of some of the excess beverages in my system.  I rounded the shack, and got my first view of the woodshed/Wedding Chapel, and the new bunkhouse.  Very impressive.  The rest of the night was spent in cards, beer, smart talk, and the like.

 

Saturday was a wonderful day.  We got up relatively early, and the Prez produced a fine breakfast for us.  Then it was on to work.  The Sec. Weights and Measures and the Sec Trans. put the lattice on the woodshed, while the Prez, the Surgeon General, and I broke out the chain saws.  We cut up a couple of downed trees fro firewood, and then started the task of making the camp safer by felling a couple of trees that looked like they might land on something important.  All in all we knocked down 6 mare trees.  We also got the window in the bunkhouse, and did a little more cleanup on that.  After all that work we sent the junior members into town for steaks, while the Prez and I cleaned up a bit.  Cocktail hour was delayed because "You can't have an Old Fashion on an empty stomach"  After 4-5 beers we were ready.  We had a great meal: Steaks, soup, 2 kinds of spuds, onions, and peppers, and of course fine dinner conversation.  After the cleanup, more cards, etc.

 

Sunday, was more of the same for breakfast.  (When you have sausage for breakfast, you have to cook them in beer)  The Surgeon General, and I left around noon.  A very successful weekend.

 

We got 2 profound quotes out of the Prez:

-While telling us a story about bees in his he had this:  "You gotta be quick with your wand, 'cuz a bee ain't no slow animal"

-While discussing the time change, he had this beauty: "If I didn't go to bed yesterday, I can't drink beer tomorrow"

 

Holy crap!  Sounds like The President is PRIME shape for deer camp.  I hope he can maintain his current levels.  (I am especially excited about our new “chapel”)  I am EXTREMELY disappointed that I wasn't able to attend, but that should make next week trip north even more sweet...  I hope...  The President is off all week, so right now we're planning on heading north on Wednesday night.  The President will head north with the Attorney General (possible broken arm and all) after school, and I'll head north with junior-junior after I get home from work.  Again, my schedule is being modified due to junior-junior's basketball career (They took 2nd place this past weekend), but I'll make the best of it.  We'll put in some light work, do a little T-Zone hunting, and try to track down some squirrels and grouse.  Should be a great time...  hope the weather cooperates...

 

I headed out to Zumbo's hunting preserve yesterday with none other than Zumbo himself.  Most of you know how pitiful a bowhunter I am (21 years-Score: Deer 21 curtamous 0), so it was an extreme pleasure to actually see live deer that Zumbo hadn't already shot.  Two nice little fork horns wandered under Zumbo's stand in my direction, and while I had was able to view them for 5-10 minutes, they never wandered down either trail that would have afforded me a shot.  Still, it was really great!  The weather was perfect and the two hours in stand went by like it was two minutes.  Hoping to get out there again with him soon...

 

Time to start wrapping up...  here's a little story for everyone:

 

Two hunters (Jack and Ass) went deer hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female deer costume and learned the mating call of a female deer.

 

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the buck, then come out of the costume and shoot the buck. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the deer love call.

 

Before long, their call was answered as a huge buck came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

 

When the buck was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

 

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

 

I'm guessing Ass was in front, and was VERY jealous of Jack in the back...

 

Things are pretty busy here at work as I'm trying to use up my vacation time but still accomplish a little bit of work, so I better shove off.  Before I sign off, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:

 

"Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself." Chinese Proverb

 

In other words, despite all the incredible teaching The President affords our junior members, they still have to listen and take heed...

 

Well, take care, and have a GREAT week!!!

 

As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”

 

curtamous

 

October 20, 2003 – Good morning everyone!  Holy cow, last week was a LONG week...  only to be capped off by that damn Packer game yesterday...  along with the Badger's loss, it was a pretty crappy weekend for football, even if the Denmark Vikings did secure a victory Friday night against Southern Door...

 

A lot of the week was spent dealing with Pa Nelson's health issues...  a middle of the night call early in the week culminated in talking Pop into the hospital on Saturday...  after quite a few hours in the emergency room, we got him settled in to Bellin where they're working on an infection and fluid build up in his chest.  We're expecting him to be there at least another day, so please keep him (and Ma Nelson) in your prayers.

 

No update on the concrete for the garage as I'm still waiting to hear when it will be scheduled.  We did get some cleanup done in the backyard as well as some sand moved.  We had planned on moving the MG in this weekend, but other unexpected events prevented us from getting that done... obviously, it can wait...

 

I ran into The President on Friday night while I was picking up supper at Suster’s...  (Outside as he was driving home, or I might never had gotten supper home...)  He mentioned that they didn't get too much done last weekend due to the limited amount of time, but that he "may" go up this weekend due to change in his plans.  He did get the woodshed roof done, so that's nice...  I had planned on tracking him down later in the weekend, but other things came up...

 

I still don't know what the schedule is for heading north this weekend though...  I'm pretty sure the SEC-Weights/Measures and SEC-Transportation are heading up on Friday night.  If The President heads up, I'm sure he'll be heading north Friday too.  The FDA Chair and possibly the Sturgeon General also plan on heading up sometime to help out, but their schedule is unknown at this time as well.  Pa Nelson's situation could also affect our plans...

 

Our illustrious FM has been pretty quiet lately, but it could be due to the following email:

 

Subject: HELP!!!!!

 

We installed a new email server at work today, and all of my “Favorite” links were wiped out. Will you please forward me the link to your web page? I’ll die without it!!!!!!

 

Best regards,

 

Carl Spackler

 

So, Dixie didn't have the WEB site address jotted down for our FM...  That disappoints me a little, but considering what she has to deal with everyday, you can't blame her for that.  Despite the FM's "Monster" comment last week, I did send him the address...

 

Oh yeah, my tooth is finally better...  I can eat decently again!  The doc drilled the hell out of it last Monday, but did a pretty good job, as it didn't hurt a bit...  UNTIL the Novocain wore off...  then it hurt like hell for pretty much the rest of the week...  Due to the constant reminder when eating, I actually dropped some weight.  Made me think that this could be a possible "HOLLYWOOD WEIGHT LOSS" program.  Just have some dentist drilled the hell out of your teeth so you can't eat and you'll loose weight...  should be worth a couple grand per treatment...  I'll contact the patent office and see what they say...  :-)

 

Here's another one for Deer Camp:

 

An old deer hunter named Bill, dressed head to foot in camo, went into a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

 

After she ordered her drink she turned to the deer hunter and asked him, "Are you a real deer hunter?"

 

To which he replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life in the woods, tracking deer, stalking deer and shooting deer, so yes, I guess I am a real deer hunter." After a short while he asked her what she was.

 

She replied, "I've never been in the woods. I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. I get up in the morning thinking of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV everything makes me think about women."

 

A short while later she left, and the deer hunter ordered another drink.

 

A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real deer hunter?"

 

The deer hunter replied, "Well I always thought I was a deer hunter, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

 

Me too...

 

As with every week, there's probably a lot I'm missing, but that's all I have time for this week.  Before I sign off, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:

 

“I got a sweater for Christmas...I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.” -Unknown

 

Makes me think of The President's sweater... 

 

Well, take care, and have a GREAT week!!!

 

As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”

 

curtamous

 

October 13, 2003 – Hi folks!  I'd say its a great day, but after yesterday's debacle at Lambeau, I think I'll just refer to it as a day...  The Packer game in general gives me hope, because it shows that if the Packers play well, they can probably compete with anyone in the league, but if you make a couple crucial mistakes, you're going to lose...  duh!  Right now I'm just hoping for 9-7...  AND a victory in Minnehaha...

 

Last week had its ups and downs, but the biggest issue is that I contracted an abscess under an old root canal, which made for A LOT of pain...  The Doc couldn't get me into the specialist to fix it until today (Monday), so I had to take penicillin to ease the infection, WHICH TOOK A LONG TIME!!!  So my ass is dragging, but not just from watching 3am TV while my tooth throbbed...

 

I'm also a little tired due to another late night excursion with the FDA Chairman.  He was nice enough to offer an extra ticket to the Badger-Ohio State game on Saturday night, which I accepted for junior-junior. (Being an 8pm game, I didn’t get home until 3:30am…  Yawn…) I also went along with the hopes of getting a scalped ticket before the game.  Luckily, we met "Fred" who had a single ticket he gave me for face value...  I sat with Fred (Mid-60's, ticket holder since the 60's) on the 45-yard line 42 rows up.  Great guy, and an EXCELLENT SEAT!!!  Even better than the FDA's seats...  The only "damper" on the game was that at kickoff, it started to rain... and rain... and rain!  I was OK, as was junior-junior, because we brought those 99-cent rain ponchos...  The FDA Chair, and his offspring, the Sturgeon General and SEC-D'Fence, were not so lucky.  At the half, I left my new best friend Fred, and sat with them, and watched them, soaked to the bone, shiver thru one of the best games I ever saw.  I think the FDA Chair would have been OK, except he had to give up his fleece coat to the SEC-D'Fence who came in only a tee-shirt...  Anyway, the Badgers won in a great game...  junior-junior felt the highlight was the streaker who ran across the field with less than a minute left...  hilarious what anti-freeze can do to college students...

 

Last week I mentioned that my lovely bride helped with making wood...  well, the FM had to send me an update on that situation:

 

Subject:  You've Created a Monster

 

I was channel surfing late last night, and happened to stumble across the "Women's Chainsaw and Logrolling World Championship" on ESPN2. I SWEAR I saw Mrs. V.P. (aka "Zumbette") taking part in the firewood stacking semi-finals!! Wow! Better stick with her, if the Sturgeon fails to come through, she could be your ticket to that prime hunting land! Does she hunt woodchuck?

 

Be sure to bring home a victory from Madison.

 

Carl

 

I don't know, but I was up late pretty much every night last week, and ESPN2 didn't have any Logrolling World Championships that I saw, but if it gets the Mrs. out of town, I'm all for it...  but I don’t think my lovely bride would appreciate the “Monster” reference…

 

Speaking of lovely brides, here's one from the FDA Chair who writes:

 

For possible use in your web page.  I assume Rudy didn’t send you an article.

 

You see, I told the SEC-D'Fence that he was to write something for me for today's article, but I'm guessing the post game party probably made him forget...  here's the FDA's submission:

 

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket when their carts collide.

 

One says to the other, "I'm sorry - I was looking for my wife.

 

"What a coincidence, so am I, and I'm getting a little desperate.

 

"Well, maybe I can help you. What does your wife look like?"

 

"She's tall, with long hair, long legs, is wearing a tight mini and a tight top. What's your wife look like?"

 

"Never mind, let's look for yours!"

 

Sounds like a plan to me...

 

Usually I start out the weekly update with a garage project update...  well, that's going to change as the GARAGE is complete!!!  Friday the garage door was installed, so officially the structure as contracted is finished.  (By the way, its quite beautiful!!!)  Of course, there's a lot more to be done on the entire project, but this is a pretty huge milestone...

 

The rest of the project is making progress as well.  Thanks to a recommendation from that world renown Foreign Minister, I have contracted with Duke Kroll to excavate and pour my concrete slab in front of the garage.  I was getting pretty worried I'd have to wait until spring to do it, when late last week, I got in touch with THREE different guys who were interested.  Duke was the first, and the price was right in line with the original, so he's the guy...  Assuming he does a good job, maybe I'll setup a little advertisement on the site for him...  with all the traffic this site gets, I'm sure his business will explode...

 

One Friday I was going to head north with our esteemed President and Attorney General, but due to a throbbing tooth, scheduling issues, the Badger game on Saturday, and meetings with concrete guys, I passed.  I'll probably live to regret it, but it seemed like the right decision.  I did talk to The President before he left, and he had plans on finishing up the woodshed, put down some blocks in front of the steps, and to erect a new platform stand on "Miss Hill".  Hopefully it went well with him...  I'll update you next week and let you know how it went...

 

Further weekends at Bob's Buck Camp include the yearly trip north at the end of the month (Oct. 30-Nov 2) for small game hunting with the boys.  We've also got a wood making weekend planned for Oct 25-26 that The President won't be attending, but right now the FDA Chair, the Sturgeon General, SEC-Weights/Measures, and SEC-Transportation, and maybe SEC-STATE are planning on attending.  Should be a good time, so all Bored members are welcome.  (Plus anyone else that would like to work, watch, or drink beer!)

 

Saturday, the Sturgeon General pointed out that in six weeks (from that day) we'd be in Deer Camp!!!  YES!!!!!!  Should be as great as ever...  in light of that fact, I've got two good hunting stories:

 

A group of deer hunters are in camp when they realize that they are running low on provisions. The group appointed Joe to get supplies. Joe went into the store and bought 10 bottles of whiskey, 12 cases of beer and 2 packages of hotdogs. When he returned to the camp the group looked in his truck and they asked, "Joe, what in the world are we gonna do with all them damn hotdogs?"

 

All I know is that makes me think of the SEC-State...  here's another one...

 

A stockbroker from Chicago got tired of all the stories of his office colleagues who went deer hunting each fall. They frequently boasted of their prowess in the hunt and how many deer they had bagged. So not to be outdone this broker decides he's going hunting to show them all up. He buys the most expensive rifle available, all his hunting clothes and gear from Cabela's, gets his license and heads north hunting. After an exasperating day of hiking through the brush and briars without seeing a single deer, he heads back to his car. On the way back, he sees a nice buck standing in a small clearing. He raises his rifle and blazes away at it and actually hit it. The buck ran and finally fell in a nearby farmyard.

 

As the hunter started to climb over the fence to retrieve his kill, he was confronted by a farmer who says, "Where in the heck, do you think you're going city boy?"

 

The guy replies, "I'm going to get my buck.

 

The farmer replies, "My property, my buck."

 

The guy says, "Oh come on, I've been out here all day and that is the only buck that I've seen, I shot it and it's my buck!"

 

The farmer again says, "My property, my buck."

 

Well, they argued for a few minutes and, finally, the farmer says, "Ok, I'll tell you what, we'll settle this country style."

 

The guy says, "What's that?"

 

The farmer says, "Well, I kick you in the crotch as hard as I can, and then you kick me in the crotch as hard as you can, and we keep this up and the last man standing keeps the buck."

 

The guy not wanting to return home empty-handed reluctantly agrees. The farmer wearing large heavy work boots haul back and kicks the guy in the crotch with all his might. The guy's eyes roll back in his head, he coughs and wheezes but barely manages to remain standing.

 

He composes himself somewhat and says to the farmer, "Okay, now its my turn."

 

The farmer replies, "Oh, you can have the buck."

 

Based on the people I know from Illinoiz, this is most likely a true story...

 

As always, there's probably a lot I'm missing, but that's all I have time for this week.  At 2pm I’m off to have my faced drilled, so think of me then…  Whatever you’re doing, its probably a lot better than what I’m doing…  Before I sign off, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:

 

"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." --Marylyn Monroe.

 

Take care, and have a GREAT week!!!

 

As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”

 

curtamous

 

October 6, 2003 – Howdy everyone!  I hope that everyone had a good week!  The weather has certainly turned to "fallish" with cool temps and frost in the morning.  Isn't it great!  Hunting and football weather...  can't get any better than this...

 

Well, lets start up with an update on my garage project.  When I posted last week, I was waiting for my concrete guy, Tommy Boy, to show up to start that work...  my hope was that by this update, the slab would be done...  As it turns out, due to issues with the guy he does excavating with, he won't be able to do the job AT ALL...  So now I'm stuck trying to find someone else.  I felt kinda bad, because Tommy Boy is a great guy and he felt really bad about it...  he got me a name of another guy, but he's not too sure he can do it either, so things are kinda up in the air...  NOT COOL!  But, its also not the end of the world either...  we'll see how it turns out...

 

After last Monday's delay due to the garage project, I loaded up and headed north for the day.  (Well, I headed north AFTER I found the cabin keys which I lost at The President's abode while loading apples...)  I didn't get up there until 11am or so, but was able to get the rest of the bunkhouse "screwed", the roof capped, and all the trim edge completed.  Not bad for only a few hours work...  I even had a chance to head out in the woods for a few minutes, but the clouds looked heavy, so by the time I headed out around 4pm, it started raining...  Other than sealing up the soffits, I'd say the bunkhouse is ready for customers...  we'll probably do more, like add a window, maybe a door, and maybe even insulated and pane; the damn thing, but we don't want the comfort of the junior membership to get in the way of hunting, so we'll see...

 

The President called later in the week and he has off this Friday, as I do, and hopefully we'll head north again and finish the soffits and the rest of the woodshed...  I have to be back on Saturday to head to Madtown with the FDA Chair for the UW-OSU clash at Camp Randall...  (That will be a good time!)  GO BUCKY!!!

 

Yesterday, I spent a good part of the day at Ma/Pa Nelson's with FDA Chair and SEC-Weights/Measures...  It was the "somewhat" annual Sauer Kraut making session...  We did NOT let the SEC-Weights/Measures do any cutting due to previous attempts to remove his thumb, but otherwise it went very well.  The FDA Chair also brought Boiled Dinner for supper, which was AWESOME!  Joining us for supper were the Sausage Stuffer, SEC-Transportation and various better halves...  a pretty good time!

 

Last week I had what is becoming more and more a situation that is very hard to believe.  Something like a Bigfoot sighting, alien abduction, crop circles, etc.  I was there, and I KNOW IT HAPPENED, but I find myself having a difficult time telling the story because its so unbelievable.  Last Saturday, my lovely bride went with me and my junior-junior and "HELPED MAKE WOOD"!!!  Yes, its true!!!  Granted, she was a little "difficult" at times, but she did help, and along with the youngster, was a pretty big help...  we were only out there a couple hours before "exhaustion" overtook them, but still, we got almost a full cord cut...  with this strange, "Ripley's Believe It or Not" type story, I considered telling The President that now my lovely bride wants to come up and cook for Deer Camp, but as SEC-Weights/Measures pointed out, something like that just isn't funny...

 

Last week I finally got the correct email address for the Attorney General...  I dropped him a quick line to verify it, and this was his replay:

 

curt,

i did get the email and cant wait to go small game hunting

 

Short, sweet, and to the point...  just like The President...  plus, his biggest concern in life is when he’s going hunting next…  despite what society says about the younger generation, I think the future is in damn good hands...

 

Well, based on my "AMAZING" story of the week, I have a couple of good ones... 

 

Walking down the street one day, a man heard a voice yell, "Stop! If you take one more step you will be killed!"

 

The man stopped, and seconds later a brick fell and landed in his path. A minute or two after that, he was getting ready to cross the street when the same voice bellowed, "Halt! Don't cross the street now!"

 

An out-of-control beer truck soon careened around the corner and didn't even slow down as it ran the red light.

 

Shaken, the man asked out loud, "Who are you?"

 

"I am your guardian angel," the voice replied. "I imagine you have some questions for me."

 

"You bet your ass I do," the man said. "Where the hell were you on my wedding day?"

 

Along the same subject line, here's another...

 

A father came home from a 10 day deer hunting trip to find his son riding a very fancy new mountain bike. "Where did you get the money for that new bike? It must have cost $200." "Easy dad," the boy replied. "I earned it by hiking." "Come on," the father said. "Tell me the truth." "That is the truth!" the boy replied. "Every night that you were gone, Mr. Smith from the grocery store would come over to see mom and he would give me a $20 bill and tell me to go take a hike!"

 

Well, it was a pretty busy week, but that's about all I have to write about today...  Plus, despite the FM's doubts, I do have work to do...  but, before I sign off, a few words of wisdom for our junior members:

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - unknown.

 

Take care, and have a GREAT week!!!

 

As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the ice!”

 

curtamous