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curtamous PAGE!!!
My notes… April 2003
April 28 2003
Hello everyone, I hope you all had a good
weekend... Mine wasn't great, but
it could always have been worse. I
had to work in Fond du lac on Saturday morning at 6am, so that really
sucked... not a good time, but
things went OK, so that's cool...
I got a few interesting emails again last week. The first from a certain member of the
junior staff that tends to prefer members of the opposite sex that have a little
extra "heft"... When I read this,
it gave me a little better insight to the trials and tribulations that our FM
has had to endure. Here is an
excerpt to give you an idea:
"...coming
from a guy who has skipped out on all bored meetings and deer camps for the last
two years, maybe three, I quit caring. Do not stray from the leadership that has
shown dedication to us and the cause over the years, the standards of education
that they have set in the ways of the deer camp are unsurpassable. The reason's
that the FM has given for not attending the meetings and deer camps are at best
insulting to the BBC."
Well, the only thing that I can think of is that the
junior membership just has such an incredible thirst for guidance, that they are
reaching out in a negative way. You
know, like the juvenile delinquents the cities are having such a hard time with
due to broken families, single parents, and apathy toward corporal
punishment. Sometimes I wonder if
the elders that so expertly trained our current senior leadership had the same
doubts about us as I do about our current junior staff... Well, thankfully, the FM has taken a vow
to rededicate himself, and that can only mean good things for our junior
membership.
Later in the week, the FM himself sent an email that
I have published below. Clearly he
is already feeling bad that he can't make it to Fish Camp 2003, and maybe a
little guilt as well. So the FM
took the time to draft some helpful hints for the junior membership. Enjoy:
TO: Bob's Buck
Camp Junior Membership
FROM: The
Foreign Minister
RE: Fish Camp
2003
Dear Little
Buddies:
I regret being
unable to spend some quality time with you guys during this year's Fish Camp
reunion. The whole situation saddens me in that, not only will I be missing out
on some great fun and great fishing with a great bunch of guys, but an
interesting fact that many of you may not be aware of is that I also have a long
and storied history with your Fish Camp venue. Many years ago, under the
previous owners of the Nelligan Lake Fish Camp Retreat, my siblings and I were
recruited twice annually to assist with cabin cleaning and general upkeep. For
busting our tails for two days straight, we were often compensated with about
fifty cents and a bottle of pop. Ah, the memories. But, I digress...
The real
reason for this correspondence is to dispense some advise to you, my little
buddies, that other senior membership in attendance may possibly fail to
remember and pass on. So here goes, the Foreign Minister's 2003 Fish Camp Advice
Manual....
1) Before
launching, always double check to make sure the plug is in the boat.(The Prez
could share a more detailed explanation of this scenario, based on personal
experience, but I'll leave that up to him)
2) Before
leaving home, make sure there is line on the reels, the hooks are sharp, the
beer is on ice and the driver knows which way "North" is.
3) It's OK to
take a leak off the side of the boat, as long as you apologize to the lake after
doing so.
4) If you're
going to stay up until 3 or 4 a.m. drinking and bullshitting, you might as well
stay up until
6 and do a
little fishing before hitting the sack. Fish generally tend to bite better
around 6 than they do around noon.
5) Try to
spend at least a little time putting up with your Uncle Sausage Stuffer's
ramblings. As a wise man once said about an acquaintance "80% of what comes out
of his mouth is pure bullshit, but the other 20% often makes a lot of sense. So,
you have to listen to everything and sort it out for yourself."
6) Ever try
woodchuck? It tastes great when marinated with soy sauce and slow roasted over
an open fire.
7) Above all,
make it a point to hoist at least one toast daily to your Uncle Dallas. He's an
outstanding man.
Good Luck and
Good Fishin'
Your Foreign
Minister
What a great guy, huh? I hadn't realized that the FM had a
history with our fishing site, but his ties to the thriving metropolis of Pine
Grove would readily explain that.
Someday over an open fire (and beer!!!) we'll have to hear some stories
of the cabin from the old days...
I'm looking forward to that...
Speaking of the FM, I had some time last week while
trapped on a conference call to put in a couple of updates on the WoodChuck
page... take some time to check it
out...
On Thursday I had the honor of assisting The
President and the Attorney General in preparation for their stay in camp last
weekend. That had procured some
building supplies and required assistance with the loading of a new
refrigeration unit for the camp.
Our Sec. Transportation donated the new unit, but we have been unable to
schedule a time when he could deliver it.
So, as it often is, the President had to do it himself. I was glad to lend assistance, but I had
mixed feelings, as I REALLY want to head up north with them... I'm sure they had a good
time!
I got an update this morning from Jack and his buddy
Ass, and it sounds like their Turkey adventure has been a success. The message was sent on Saturday, but it
sounds like the two have spent some quality time together in a few local
establishments, have made some "special" friendships with a few of the locals,
and were even able to make it out and harvest at least one wild turkey... (I'm guessing they hit the turkey on the
way home, but you never know!) I'm
looking forward to some pictures from the two, and if there's tire tracks on the
bird, we'll know the method of harvest for sure...
Here's a little something that hits pretty close to
home:
A woman awakes
during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe
and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table
with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears to
be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear
from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the
matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here
at this time of night?".
The husband
looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and
you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she
replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.
"Do you
remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car having sex?"
"Yes, I
remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband
continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said,
either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember
that too" she replies softly.
He wipes
another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out
today".
Well, Fish Camp 2003 is this week! I am more than a little excited about
it, and hope that we all have a good weekend! Its quite possible that next week's
Monday update will be late, but you never know for
sure...
I think that's all I have for this week, but before I
sign off, a few words of wisdom for our junior
members:
“I drink with
impunity...or anyone else who invites me.” -- W.C.
Fields
Take care, and have a GREAT
week!!!
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the
ice!”
curtamous
April 21, 2003
Happy Easter!
A day late... Hopefully
everyone had a good, safe holiday...
lent is over, and I am enjoying the Easter
season!
Last week was a bit quieter than normal... the whole situation with the FM has
calmed down for which I am very thankful.
I saw a few of the junior members over the holiday weekend, and I think
we need all the concerted effort the senior members of Bob's Buck Camp can
muster to someday take over the reigns of responsibility. I'm more than a bit nervous about our
future...
I did get one email from the FM. He starts out with some "interesting"
comments about his personal executive assistant Dixie LaRue, which I will not
re-print here. However, he made a
few interesting comments:
Good idea on
designating the Prez's birthday for holiday status. One additional thought on
the subject....since we are in line to get a new Bishop, perhaps we could get on
his good side and end up with April 8 being designated "St. Robert's Day." Just
a thought.
Woodchuck
season officially opened Sunday at 6:34 p.m..... I shot and missed..... Again.
Bin Laden lives another day. I'll be repairing the lower northeast corner of the
machine shed this evening.
Remember, if
the women don't find you handsome, at least let 'em find you handy....
FM
Carl
I think the "St. Robert's Day" is a pretty damn fine
idea. I would have preferred
"President's Day", but that's kinda taken... I'm not sure what our new Bishop will
think of the idea, but I'm guessing since the FM has some pull with our Pope, he
may have an inside track...
As far as the FM's incredibly comical attempts at
hunting Woodchucks, I'm "almost" at a loss for words... I mean really! Woodchucks are fairly large rodents...
they're pretty slow... not too smart...
(No! I'm not describing the
junior membership...) What in Bob's
name is his problem? I am becoming
more and more temped to take him up on his offer to visit the Lancelle "sheep"
ranch and see what the problem is.
Maybe these are magical Woodchuck... maybe the FM is trying to "shoot" them
with his Durango again... who
knows... at least that would
explain the problem with the corner of the machine
shed...
Speaking of hunting, Turkey season opened last week,
and of course, Zumbo scored at around 7:30 am on opening day... not too hard to believe, but considering
the circumstances, it was a little amazing... I had planned on going out with him, but
the weather was a little suspect. I
was up at 4am on Wednesday, looked outside, and it seemed fine, so I started
getting ready. I had made a hot
drink and had a quick bite to eat, I was pretty much dressed, and I was lacing
my boots in the basement when I heard a strange tapping noise outside... It was around 4:45 and I was pretty much
headed out the door, so I checked outside, and it was hailing. It shortly turned into a complete
downpour... I got undressed and
crawled back into bed. I would
later be called a "whimp" for this, but at the time it seemed to be the obvious
choice.
Well, Zumbo went out anyway... By 7am, despite the crappy weather, he
had seen a few hens and 6 jakes...
Another storm cell went thru along with some hail a little after
7am. The hail sent the turkeys into
the fence line, but as soon as it stopped, they came back out. A rather large Tom (not the queer one)
also arrived, and after being chased around a bit by the jakes, Zumbo dropped
him... According to Zumbo, the shot
didn't scare the jakes away, and they proceeded to rough up the dead Tom a
bit... Zumbo had to get out of his
stand and walk over to scare them away...
If I remember right, Zumbo's Tom was around 24 lbs, had over a 10" beard,
and had 3/4" spurs. I
think...
So, I learned that turkeys seem to like crappy
weather. Also, since my truck
didn't start for me later in the morning, I learned not to mess with the hunting
gods... If you say you're going,
go...
I also heard from Jack and his buddy Ass last
week... It turns out that they are
headed north this week to the Athelstane area for Turkey season. I relayed my turkey story to them, and I
was called a "whimp". Probably
deservedly so... I hope they have
good luck with their season, and don't end up for an extended time on "stand" at
Rumors. Even if they do, hopefully
no one's truck door with need washing the next
day...
On a more serious note, my uncle Dallas had a stroke
last Sunday. He's home already and
seems to be doing OK, but please keep him in your thoughts and prayers... especially since we use his cabin for
Fish Camp...
:-)
Fish Camp 2003 is a short 10 days away! Hopefully everyone is ready and raring
to go! I am, as always, looking
forward to it VERY much! I will be
sending out some more correspondence to the attendees this week to finalize
plans...
Oh yeah!
The FM also forwarded me an interesting email. I've seen this before in various
formats, so I think this was modified to make it sound like it was done recently
during the Iraq conflict, but it still cracks me
up:
Marine Corp's
General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read
his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.
Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this!!!! This is one of
the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of National Public Radio
(NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General
Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military
installation.
FEMALE
INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these
young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL
REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting.
FEMALE
INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't
it?
GENERAL
REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle
range.
FEMALE
INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be
teaching children?
GENERAL
REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline
before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE
INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent
killers.
GENERAL
REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are
you?
The radio went
silent and the interview ended.
You gotta love
the Marines.
Paul
Lancelle
So thanks for that little submission Mr. Foreign
Minister!
I think that's all I have for this week, but before I
sign off, a few words of wisdom for our junior
members:
“Never be
afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals
built the Titanic.” -- unknown
Personally, I think that sounds like something the
President would say, especially if there are pickled eggs
around...
As Red would say,
“Keep your stick on the ice!”
curtamous
April 14, 2003
Last week was again a trying week for your
correspondent. Email from the FM
again plagued me, but in the end, everything turned out for the best. As you can guess, the President was
again needed to clean up the mess…
It all started on Monday after the FM read last weeks
update. It seems the FM’s personal
executive assistant Dixie LaRue was “supposedly” on vacation, so the FM was left
to fend for himself. So, instead of
working, he decided to check the website and provide me with his
thoughts:
Dixie's on vacation in Aruba, so I
decided to check out your weekly update on my own. Following are my
thoughts....
"this may just be another attempt by
the FM to cover up the fact that the Mrs. FM keeps the FM's balls in a locked
container in her purse"
Ouch, that's a zinger! That's not to
say I don't deserve it. But, it still hurts.
"The President has chosen to
schedule his OWN conflict that jeopardizes the Bored Meeting at the end of the
month. (Turns out he is also
invited to the FM's junior-junior-junior First Communion, and there's free beer
there...) "
I have to say I'm a little
disappointed that you have, once again, failed to see the obvious here. Having
learned at a very early age, (during my rough and tumble upbringing in the
streets of Pine Grove), that every action requires an equal and opposite reaction, the tactical maneuver
on my part to invite the President to the First Communion celebration was a
genius check-mate on my part intended to foil my adversaries and leave them
scratching their poor little heads in despair once again. For all of his wisdom
and genius, in practically any situation that you lure the Prez with free beer,
you've got it made. My plan to debunk the Bored meeting fiasco with this little
side step is beautiful, largely because of it's simplicity. It was so simple,
the sheer obviousness of it even got right past you, the esteemed VP!! I'll let
you go on this one but, please, learn from your mistake. Are you beginning to
understand why my services are in such popular demand all over the
globe?
Less than two
weeks left to the end of Lent, and Fish Camp 2003 is only 24 days away...As Red
would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
Yeah, 24
short, cold days away....that means all of you will be sitting
there at Nelligan Lake with your sticks on the ice come Opening Day. You
better use the remainder of the Lenten season to pray for warmer
weather.
Great update, as
always.
Paul
Lancelle
Well,
I’m sure you could understand my shock at this almost blasphemes claim that the
“FM”, and NOT the President, was responsible for saving the day, and that he was
somehow able to manipulate the President.
I toiled over this incredible claim for over a day. I knew I had to point out, possibly in a
rather harsh manner, the FM’s huge mistake. I was worried over what this might mean
to Bob’s Buck Camp. I was extremely
anxious…
On
Tuesday, I went back to the email to read it over again to be sure that I had it
right. I didn’t want to
misunderstand any of his email and make anything worse. Luckily, this is what I found in my
inbox from the FM, titled “Reality Hits”:
Reflecting upon my correspondence from
earlier today, the truth of the situation hit me squarely between the eyes.
While praising myself so profusely for my creativity and ingenuity in devising
my "check-mate" maneuver, the obvious never occurred to me. The fact is, our
President is all-knowing and all-encompassing. It's apparent to me now that he
has been two or three steps ahead of the rest of us the whole while. While he
states in public that he had no prior knowledge of any trace of turmoil within
the ranks, the truth of the matter is that he has been aware of the infighting
and controversy for some time, he probably sensed it before the first sling
of bullshit was even cast. His latest maneuver in quelling the Bored
Meeting controversy is just another brilliant example of how the Prez knows all
and sees all. Let me boil it down for you....the Prez sees this controversy
coming to an all-out crescendo. The last thing he wants is strife within the
ranks-the Prez is a man of peace. He just wants us all to get along. He knows he
needs all of us. He could have easily wiggled his way out of the First
Communion celebration invitation...but instead, seized the opportunity to
accept, thereby creating a smoke screen covering any evidence of fault or blame
regarding scheduling or attendance at the Bored Meeting. (Although the free beer
probably didn't hurt) Given the Prez's genius and impressive showing of unity
and brotherhood, I have pledged to use it as an example and a reminder of what
the Bob's Buck Camp fraternity is supposed to be all about. I am laying down my
hatchet against the Junior Element and open my arms in peace (although I will
admit this will prove to be a challenge with some more than others, as I had a
chance encounter with the Sec. Weights and Measures at the Bar of Oshkosh Sunday
night, and he remains as irritating and obnoxious as ever, as well as a lousy
volleyball player (isn't volleyball a girl's sport??), but so be it) I will from
this point forward try to provide a better example to our junior members as to
what brotherhood ,fraternity, drinking, cooking, woodchuck hunting,
fishing and debauchery are all about.
What can I say? Never try to
bullshit a bullshitter. The Prez Rocks. Long live Bob's Buck
Camp.
Respectfully
submitted,
Carl
Speckler
a.k.a "The kinder, gentler
FM"
Paul Lancelle
My hours
of worry, concern, and anxiety were all for naught. Not only did the President deal with the
issue at hand, he was able to lead our beloved FM from his paranoid world and
into the light! To top it off, the
President now has the FM back setting himself as an example to all the junior
members, which is extremely needed.
I doubt anyone else could have said it better:
“The Prez Rocks. Long
live Bob's Buck Camp.” But the FM wasn’t done. Later in the week, he sends me this
note:
This gets
freakier....
Did
it occur to you that the day I received by "revelation" just happened to also be
the day of the Prez's BIRTHDAY?
Coincidence?
I think not!
With
3 more Hunter's Safety Certificates in hand, it appears that the future
generation of Bob's Buck Camp membership is well-secured. A scary thought for
the rest of the current membership, however,... can you envision an FM offspring
actually taking to the woods on Opening Day? With a gun? Rick must be smiling
somewhere, though. One of his biggest goals was to someday convince me to
actually hunt. Perhaps this is a small consolation prize for him. He always got
the last laugh.
Carl
So, all is once again well. Thanks to Mr. President again. And I doubt that anyone in Bob’s Buck
Camp knew or recognized the President’s birthday. What an incredibly humble man he
is… Personally, my biggest regret,
other than missing the Prez’s birthday, is that “I” didn’t have enough faith to
know all along that The President had this all under control… shame on me, but it just shows that we
all have a lot to learn from the President…
Another word on the FM before I touch on a couple
other topics… I ran into the FM
last Wednesday and he pointed out a rather (OK, extremely) attractive young lady
he claimed was his personal executive assistant Dixie LaRue… the only thing I can’t figure out, is
how could young Dixie have been in Denmark when she was also on vacation in
Aruba? Wishful thinking on his part
I’m guessing…
So, if you haven’t been following along, the retreat
up to Bob’s Buck Camp the weekend of 4/26 is pretty much shot… We’ll figure something out… The President and I are going to try to
find some evening where we can head into town and check out garage plans… I’m trying to delay it until “after”
Lent… J
On the bright side, the first week of Turkey Hunting
opens this week. I am hoping to go
out with Zumbo on Wednesday as he has a permit… With Zumbo’s typical success ratio, I’m
guessing he’ll have his tag filled by 10am… I don’t have a permit until the
2nd to last week…
On a sad note, this past week Matt “Mattchew” Kane
passed away… Matt was a damn good
guy, always with a smile and ready to buy you a beer. He’ll be missed… but on the bright side, I’m guessing
that there IS beer in heaven, because if there wasn’t, Matt would’ve been crying
up a pretty massive rainstorm, and we had nothing but sunshine… so we got that going for
us…
Before closing, a few words of wisdom for our junior
members:
"You can't
drink all day...Unless you start in the morning.” -- Gary
Larson
Four days left of Lent, and Fish Camp 2003 is only 17
days away…
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the
ice!”
curtamous
PS. I
think we need to officially recognize April 8 as a new national holiday. Bob’s Birthday! Also, when the new holiday of “Bob’s
Birthday” falls during lent, that the bishop allow a special day of dispensation
like he does for St. Patrick’s Day…
We can cover this at the next Bored
Meeting…
April 7, 2003
First, I
apologize for not getting a mid-week update out last week. I was able to get an April Fools email
out though… Personally, I thought
it was kinda funny, and considering the responses I got, I assume that it
worked… if there’s anyone out there
reading this that didn’t get it, let me know…
Getting on to business, it sounds like we “had” a
situation developing concerning The President’s request for a Bored Meeting at
the end of April. Seems the FM has
issues, and instead of keeping his promises to the Bored, he has speculated that
some conspiracy is occurring. To
refresh your memory, here is an excerpt from the FM’s article in “Bob’s Buck
Camp” concerning his absence from Deer Camp 2003:
“…he pledges to the entire Board that this will not happen again and barring any unexpected events, he will be present at EVERY future board function. He will accept any penalties the Board has decided to impose, short of being booted out. He further stated that his first order of business at the next Bored meeting will be to kick the snot out of every junior member who questioned the Minster’s intents and motives.”
Well, last week I got an email from Dixie LaRue, the
FM’s Executive Assistant. Normally,
based on the FM’s reputation, legacy, and position on the Bored, I would take
his allegations seriously. But Ms.
LaRue hints that this may just be another attempt by the FM to cover up the fact
that the Mrs. FM keeps the FM’s balls in a locked container in her purse… Here’s Ms. LaRue’s email:
Mr. V.P.
Before I begin, please bear in mind that I am corresponding on behalf of the Foreign Minister. Most of the following words are his, certainly not mine. As part of my many and varied duties, I conduct a weekly check of the Curtamous Web Page to check on any impending items that may be of concern or interest to the FM. Naturally, as part of my duties this week I duly noted the scheduled dates of the upcoming Bored Meeting and Fish Camp Retreat, and immediately forwarded the info via secure satellite transmission to the FM, who is currently involved in high level negotiations and shenanigans near Kuwait City. While I will water down and edit the litany of his reply, let me just say that the FM is quite upset and disturbed over the dates selected for both events. It is the FM's opinion that EVERYONE should know that the FM junior-junior-junior is scheduled to partake in First Communion exercises on the weekend of the 26th. Additionally, the FM will be presiding over a high-level industry gathering ( yes, getting drunk and acting stupid) in Salt Lake City over the first weekend in May. The FM views this scheduling as an underhanded coup attempt by some of the junior board members who have garnered undue influence over the President, and are attempting to pull the blinders over his eyes. The "conspiracy theory," as the FM puts it, is that the junior members secretly and illegally gained access to the FM's upcoming itinerary (it wasn't from me, trust me!) and, when realizing that the two weekends since scheduled would never work out for the FM, they secretly plotted to influence the President that these would be the best overall dates to schedule the two events. By doing so, the "devious element," as the FM refers to them, would use the unattendance by the FM to hammer home their proposal for disbarment and exorcism.
While the FM fully realizes that the dates and events stand scheduled as is ( he wouldn't be so selfish as to think of himself) he has requested that I file an official protest with the Bored regarding the above-specified actions of the "lower class," and asks that the Bored consider the FM's scheduling dilemma (which was devised through no fault of his own) before taking any decisive action, which may or may not be influenced by alcoholic intake.
I hope all else is well with you.
Kindest regards, respect and admiration,
Dixie LaRue
Over the past year or two of correspondence with Ms.
LaRue, (despite her constant flirting with me) I have gained a true respect for
her abilities and consider it quite possible that she will be canonized as a
saint for her time spent here on earth working for the FM. Therefore, I think that this is quite
possibly an attempt of a desperate man to retain both his testicles AND
dignity… At the time I got this, I
thought that we might have a SERIOUS problem…
But, TO THE RESCUE comes our wise, all knowing, and
wonderful President!!! Claiming no
knowledge of the conflicts in our ranks, The President has chosen to schedule
his OWN conflict that jeopardizes the Bored Meeting at the end of the
month. (Turns out he is also
invited to the FM’s junior-junior-junior First Communion, and there’s free beer
there…) Problem solved. Sometimes, I have a hard time
comprehending the greatness of our President… brings a tear to my
eye…
On to other news, the youngest male Nelson, the
Attorney General, and the junior-junior FM continued their quest to finish their
hunter safety course. Thursday’s
class was cancelled due to weather, but we spent all day Saturday at the club
going thru various exercises… It
was OK, but I sincerely wish they would have scheduled the President to speak
and REALLY generate some interest in the class…
Speaking of weather, we had an ice storm, and lost
power from 1pm on Friday until 5am on Saturday, and then again from 5am to 7am
on Sunday. It didn’t bother me too
much, but it REALLY made everyone appreciate how good we really have it… hopefully that stays with us for a
while…
Here’s one for the FM’s Woodchuck
Page:
A guy walks
into a bar and there's a woodchuck sitting there drinking a 7&7. He sits
down next to the woodchuck and says, "So, tell me something I've always wondered
about. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck
wood?"
The woodchuck
snapped his swizzle stick in half and waved it in the guy's face. "I've got half
a mind to remove your sinuses with this swizzle stick. Do you realize you are
the tenth guy to ask me that since I came into this bar? Do you really think
that just because I am a woodchuck I have nothing better to do than sit around
all day chucking wood?"
The guy was
somewhat taken aback and quickly apologized. Then he scratched his head. "So
tell me, what does a woodchuck do all day?"
"Around here -
answer stupid questions."
Before closing, a few words of wisdom for our junior
members:
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently
three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population." --David
Letterman
Less than two weeks left to the end of Lent, and Fish
Camp 2003 is only 24 days away…
As Red would say, “Keep your stick on the
ice!”
curtamous
Last Updated: Friday, May 20, 2005
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