The curtamous page
March 2008 Archived Notes
March
25, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Happy Tuesday! Tuesday you say? Been a wild ride here, so sorry for the late update... Sunday was... well, more on that later, but suffice it to say no update was happening Sunday... Monday morning I had to drop off the keys to my eldest's car at the shop to get new tires. A pothole put a nice big gash in the side of one of his tires. Needed new ones anyway, so that worked out, but the shop didn't open 'till 8am. Got to work late, so no update there. Then the Mayor of
Denville emailed me concerning a broken toilet, so I spent most of last night checking out the issue, running to Fleet Farm (only once, but I could have used another trip), and fixing it. So no update last night either... Today is pretty busy too, but I'm hoping to get this done today...
So, Happy Easter!!! I had a great Holy Week. I made it to all 4 services and enjoyed them all. I helped out with the Good Friday service at our church, which was great, except all the kneeling caused my kneecap to pop and other issues. I'm up there trying to pray and all I get is "Crap, I am officially old!". Anyway... Easter Sunday was good. Packed church, and the meal in Eaten was excellent! The after dinner drinks were even better! I love Easter, but it might be partly
because Lent is over... Not sure... I'll have to ponder that. Regardless, it was a great weekend!
Got an email from the Comptroller regarding a fundraiser he's participating in. Here's the link to go to, so please support him!!!
Fundraiser
Link
Got this from the Jack/Ass team... Perfect for this political season...
For those who slept through World History 101...... here is a condensed version.
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.
These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists' are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history.......
It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more liberals...just to yank their chain.
How true!!!
With Lent over, lets start getting serious about our schedules!!!
24 Day of Blood (Roman). Watch your back.
St. Ides (of March).
25 Waffle Day (Sweden). Double waffles all around! I’m buying!
Warsaw Waffle
2 oz vodka
1 oz maple syrup
Mix, shoot.
26 Leonard Nimoy’s Birthday (1931). Lush long and proper.
Vulcan Mind Probe
1/2 oz Ouzo
1/2 oz 151 proof rum
Mix ,shoot.
27 The corkscrew is patented (1860). Making it no longer necessary to push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.
Corked wine.
28 Festival of the Sacrifice at the Tombs (Roman). Graveyard party! Woo-hoo! Zombie.
29 Expulsion of the Demons of Bad Luck Festival (Tibet). Demonic possession is bad enough, but bad luck demons? Believe me, you don’t want ‘em.
Exorcism By Fire
1 1/2 oz Pernod
1 lemon wedge
6 dashes Tabasco Sauce
sugar
Coat the lemon wedge with sugar. Douse the lemon wedge with the 6 dashes of Tabasco. Shoot the Pernod and suck the lemon.
30 Doctor’s Day. Me, I prefer to follow Dr. Hunter S. Thompson’s advice. Apple schnapps.
The "Vulcan Mind Probe"? I'm in...
Hey, how about those Badgers! Sweet 16!!! Lets hope for at least one more "W"!!! They were so good they even pulled their hockey counterparts into their NCAA tourney, so Friday is going to be a big UW day!!!
So, as I announced last week, the newsletter is done. It was shipped out early last week, so if you have a subscription, it should have already arrived. I'll also get an electronic copy out on the website. The link is here...
DEERCAMPSTUFF
Big week and weekend ahead... Three going away parties here at work... NCAA's... Sunday we're going out to HuHot's for the FDA Chair's birthday celebration... But the big news is Saturday night we're having our annual Fish Camp Meeting! Check your mailboxes for invites!!! I hope to see you there...
Not bad... Its not even noon yet and I'm close to having the update done, but I better get going... As always, before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"A strangely reflective, even melancholy day. Is that because, unlike our cousins in the northern hemisphere, Easter is not associated with the energy and vitality of spring but with the more subdued spirit of autumn." -- Hugh Mackay
Obviously someone from south of the equator, but that's a very interesting perspective... Probably too deep for junior members...
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
March 17, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Good morning and Happy St. Patrick's Day!!! I even remembered to wear green today in honor of our Irish drinking brothers... Wish I could go out and have a Guinness with our brethren, but alas, that won't happen... Speaking of which, last week I wondered if I would "ever" be able to celebrate St. Patty's Day if I continue giving up drinking for lent... Here's your answer...
Easter, this year is: Sunday March 23, 2008
*As you may know, Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20).
*This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar.
*Found out a couple of things you might be interested in!
Based on the above, Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare.
This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! And only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). And none of us have ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!
Here are the facts:
*The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you're 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).
The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!
Doesn't look good for me...
But with Holy Week upon us the end of lent is in site. Thursday night after Mass I'll crack a nice cold one and enjoy...
Hey, how about those Badgers this weekend... No, not the hockey Badgers, who sucked... the Men's roundballers... Good Big Ten Tourney and then get royally screwed in the brackets... Unreal... Not only do they lose out on the 2nd seed they deserve, but they get thrown into a nasty bracket... They'll be lucky to get to the sweet 16 with USC in round 2... We'll see... Actually, I think Marquette got a better deal than the Badgers... Regardless, it'll be a fun 2 weeks...
This week's schedule... We'll see how I feel on Easter Sunday...
17 St. Patrick’s Day. Chase the snakes out of your mind.
Green beer.
18 Sheelah’s Day (Ireland). Honors the woman who historians reckon was either the mother or wife of St. Patrick.
Forbidden Taboo Cocktail
1 oz white rum
1 oz Midori Melon Liqueur
1 oz pineapple juice
2 tsps lemon juice
2 drops grenadine
Combine in blender with crushed ice. Blend until smooth.
19 Minerva’s Day (Roman). Celebrates Roman Goddess of Crafts, Trades — and War. Just in case you were thinking about frontin’.
Warsteiner Beer.
20 Martini Season begins. The triumphant return of the Stemmed Glass Satan. Martini.
21 End of the World Day (Iran). Better drink up while you can.
End of the World
1 oz Bacardi 151
1 oz Wild Turkey 101
1 oz vodka
Serve warm in a shot glass.
22 Kaiser Wilhelm I’s Birthday (1797). “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” St. Pauli Girl.
23 Rally For Decency Day. Hear that, you savages? Country Club Malt Liquor in civilized company.
Actually, not a bad looking week, but that "End of the World Day" shot thingy on Thursday has a fitting name...
Here's another reason you have to like the Irish...
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye." Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels.
"Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."
O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done."
"Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."
O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
Kind of a quiet weekend overall... Got some work done on my taxes... SEC-Transportation called me last night for some help on his computer... watched basketball... and Oh yeah!!!
THE NEWSLETTER IS DONE!!!
Finished it last week... the FDA Chair proofed it... Saturday I went into work and printed it and stuffed the envelopes... Hopefully, if I have time today, I'll get it mailed out... It turned out pretty good. Deer Camp was a little less wild this year, but the content of the newsletter would never make you think that... its probably the best in a few years...
Well, I didn't get the update started on Sunday like I've been trying to do, so I'll have to cut'er show this morning... I hope everyone has a blessed and happy holiday...
But as always, before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"If you're enough lucky to be Irish, you're lucky enough!" ~Irish Saying
They don't high very high expectations, do they? But they sure are cocky...
Happy Easter!
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
March
10, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Sunday evening and I'm watching Hoosiers. Great flick! Jimmy sure doesn't miss often in the movie, does he? Figured I'd get the update done tonight as work continues to be pretty crazy and I doubt I'll get time tomorrow...
Last week was quite a week. Monday my best buddy in Chicago put in his resignation. He is quite a
partier, and we've had a lot of good times out on the town, but he is a really key player at work. That meant my job just got a whole heck of a lot tougher. Then to add misery, Favre retires on Tuesday. (I'm sure you might have heard about that...) A whole lot in the news on that. So that meant I was on my way to Chicago on
Thursday and Friday to work with him before his last day on Friday. When I arrived on Thursday the powers that be sweetened the deal and he decided to stay. My week was looking up, but my hopes for Favre changing his mind as well were short lived.
I am certainly glad my friend in Chicago is staying at our company, but I certainly can't begrudge Favre. The funny thing about Favre is that my two sons and most of the BBC junior members don't remember anything but the Packers with Brett Favre. I think that really says something about him. Good luck to him... The BBC wishes him well.
So what will the Packers and even the NFL be like without him? Its really hard to say, but it will certainly be different. Will we return to the days of John Hadl, David Whitehurst, Lynn Dickey, Vince Feragamo and The Majik Man Makowski, or will A-Rodgers be the next Steve Young? You know what? I can't wait to find out!
Its been really slow getting good material, but here's one I got this week... An oldie but a goodie...
In a school just outside Minneapolis, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Vikings Fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if the are Vikings fans too Not really knowing what a Vikings fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all fly into the air.
However, there is one exception. A little boy named Timmy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different. "Because I am not a Vikings fan." says Timmy "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
Timmy says "I am a proud Green Bay Packers fan!" The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Timmy why he is a Packers fan. "Well, my Mom and Dad are Packer fans so I'm a Packers fan, too," Timmy responds.
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot?
Timmy smiled and said, "THEN I'd be a Vikings Fan."
That always cracks me up...
With me being out of town last week and across state lines, I was in the jurisdiction of a different bishop, and therefore had my share of Harps... With that, here's our schedule and hopes for more border hopping.
10 Junoalia (Roman). Celebrates Juno, Roman Goddess of Art, Love, Light, Hearth and a buncha other sissy stuff.
Tattooed Love Goddess
1 oz vodka
1 oz vanilla schnapps
1 1/2 oz Godiva Liqueur
1 oz cream
Fill glass with ice, add liqueurs, top with cream, shake well.
11 Hercules’ Day (Greek). Hercules was known for whipping up on mutants. Murphy’s
Stout.
12 Jack Kerouac’s Birthday (1922). Road trip! Gas station beer.
13 Runic Half-Month of Tyr ends. I was beginning to think that @&#%$ was never going to end.
Fat Tire.
14 Veturius Mamurius (Roman). A festival celebrating armor. Those Romans weren’t exactly picky when looking for an excuse to get housed on the
vino.
Italian wine.
15 Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor marry for the first time (1964). Forming the greatest husband/wife drinking team of the century.
Vodka tonic and champagne.
16 Bacchus Day. Christmas for drunkards. Flagons and flagons of wine.
On the 15th, do you drink those together? Hope I'm
"in-state" on that day... But I sure wouldn't mind a Tattooed
Love Goddess tomorrow... The cocktail sounds good too...
The Sec-State and his beautiful bride stopped by today. He dropped off some stuff and some of his famous chicken wings. He has REALLY got those down pat. Man, they are good!!! He also asked about the fish camp meeting. I think we'll go late with it this year... Post-Lent if you know what I mean... I'll keep you posted on that front...
Badgers won the Big Ten title.. Go figure... Here's hoping they roll in the Big Ten tourney and right through the NCAAs...
Big week ahead for birthdays... The Sec-D'Fence, FM, and FDA Chair all celebrate birthday's this week.
Raise your glasses... Cheers to them all!
St. Patty's Day next Monday... Does St. Patty's Day EVER fall outside of Lent? I think somewhere along the ling I have a touch of Irish
in my blood and I sure would like to party with them some day...
Hey, guess what... the newsletter is drafted and ready for triple checking and production. This is by FAR the latest I've ever gotten it done, but you know what?
It is still hilarious... I finished it afternoon at the dining room table and I was giggling the whole time. Deer Camp
"seemed" a little less wild this year, but you sure wouldn't know it from the newsletter... Hope to have it sent out to everyone before summer... ;-)
Well, I think that's it... By the way, Hickory won again... As always, before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming." -- Jimmy Carter
I have a hard time believing President Jimmy Carter said that, so maybe it was a different Jimmy, but if he did, its even funnier...
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
March
3, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Howdy Folks!!! Welcome back! How's everyone doing today? I hope all is well... Today is going to be a quick update. Got lots to say, but no time to say it... So here goes...
Spent last week in Tampa. Nice weather, but the locals thought it was cold. 60 degrees? Cold? I guess its all what you're used to... All I know is I had short sleeves and they were in winter coats. Other than the weather, it was an uneventful trip. Worked hard... played hard... glad to get home... Except the part where I drove home in
snow from the airport and then got to shovel and blow snow until 10pm. Suddenly Tampa seemed like a pretty nice place...
The Saturday before I left the Sec-Transportation and his beautiful fiancé had their "coin" shower. What is a "coin" shower?
Just a good reason to have a party I guess. I know I had a good time. With he and his cousin the Sturgeon General getting married this spring, there should be all sorts of parties and good times. Can't wait... Just lucky Easter (and Lent) is over early this year...
The Denville B-Ball team's season is over as well... The week before I left they existed in the
regional semi to Valdars... Valdars made to the sectional final this weekend before losing, so at least they lost to a decent team. Good year with many interesting highlights... We'll see what next year brings...
This week's schedule?
3 National Mulled Wine Day. No need to mull over this one.
Bad Pun Punch
3 oz Rum
Orange juice
2 tblsp Grenadine
Shake and strain.
4 America’s first tavern opens (1634). Imagine the line outside the door. Make a run down the taps.
5 Failed Coup Day (Equatorial Guinea). At least when you fuck up they don’t commemorate it with a goddamn national holiday.
Pisco.
6 Anniversary of the Battle of the Alamo (1836). Whiskey drinkers fight to the death for Texas.
Lone Star Beer.
7 Switzerland gave women the right to vote (1971). Better late than never, eh, ladies?
Ladies choice.
8 International Women’s Day. Hear that, you goddamn Swiss? Who’s in charge now?
Foo-foo drinks.
9 Feast of the 40 Martyrs (Greek). New slang: “I’m gonna get as drunk as forty Greek martyrs.”
Forty of your choice.
Lone Star and a "run down the taps"? Oh my! What a tough week...
You'll have to ask me about my recent run down the taps...
Zumbo celebrated another year last week. If you see him, be sure to wish him a belated Happy Birthday!!!
Weird week last week... Yeah I was out of town, but I don't think I got a single joke or funny picture in email... So you're not getting one this week either...
Not sure what's going on this week other than church stuff... I know the wife is heading out of town this weekend, so I got that going for me... Other than that, its just another day in paradise... Or as they say in Tampa, "Living the dream"!
Well, that's all I got time for... But as always, before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened." -- Cora Harvey Armstrong
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
Last Updated: Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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