The curtamous page
April 2008 Archived Notes
April
21, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Happy Monday! Sorry I've been so poor in getting updates, out, but by the end of today's update, you might understand why. I have so much stuff to update you on, its incredible... Where to start? How about at the beginning.
I've been bitching about work for a while now, so last Monday I put in my two week notice. That's right! I quit... I've got another job lined up that's pretty exciting. So last Monday I was kinda busy with that so the update was delayed... Sorry, but I'm sure you understand! So this is my last week at TCS/Nielsen with Friday being my last day. Its been almost 16 years here, so I certainly have mixed feelings, but with the way things are going and as good as the new opportunity looks, its a no brainer. I just hope I have more time for curtamous.com stuff in the future!
We spent a great weekend celebrating the nuptials of the SEC-Transportation and his beautiful new bride. What a great party that was!!! Nice
rehearsal dinner, beautiful ceremony, and then party like a rock star! Highlight of the night, among many highlights, was the slide show. Great job by my nephew the captain to put together a really nice tribute. Not too many dry eyes among those that know the family well... and the FDA Chair,
despite losing his shoes, was Mr. Saturday Night Fever! Man we had a great time, but Sunday was a bit slower for everyone, that's for sure. Here's to the happy couple! CHEERS!!!
Saturday morning, before the festivities started, I bought a bike. An '83 Honda Goldwing... Something I've been thinking about for a long time. I spent a lot of time in my youth on dirt bikes and 3 wheelers and always wanted to get a bike. My buddy decided he was selling his so I said sure, I'll take a look. I was "thinking" something small to tool around on... this is NOT a small bike! But I sat on it and got a feel for it, and it was over... I handed him the cash and had him deliver it. Now I have to get it titled, get a license, and learn to drive the darn thing. Should be a blast, if I live through it!
How about this week's schedule? Been off the wagon BIG time, so why stop now? I have all the more reason to celebrate!!!
21 Alferd G. Packer Day. University of Colorado’s cafeteria is named after the famous cannibal. Dead Guy Ale.
22 Jack Nicholson’s Birthday (1937). Heeeeeere’s Johnny! Johnny Walker Black.
23 The Reinheitsgebot is adopted (1516). German purity law demands that beer only be made of malt, yeast, hops and water.
Good German beer.
24 National Remembrance of Man’s Inhumanity To Man Day. Atone for your barroom behavior.
Solemn shots of tequila.
25 Cuckoo Day (English). Get cuckoo for cocoa shots!
Cocoa Shot
1 1/2 oz cognac
1/2 oz white chocolate liqueur
1/2 oz amaretto
1/2 oz cream
1 Maraschino cherry
Shake with ice, strain, garnish with a maraschino cherry, shoot.
26 Richter Scale Day. Shake it, baby, shake it!
Earthquake
1/3 gin
1/3 whisky
1/3 Pernod (Absinthe if you got it)
Shake with ice, strain.
27 Ulysses S. Grant’s Birthday (1822). When informed that Grant was a drunkard, Lincoln retorted: “Find out what brand of whiskey Grant drinks, because I want to send a barrel of it to each one of my generals.”
Whiskey.
Friday is my going away party, and its "Cuckoo for cocoa shots!"... Oh Oh...
What else is going on? Well, Fish Camp 2008 is soon upon us! Less than 2 weeks until we hit Leigh Flowage! I better get crack'en and get invites out and menu's completed! Get your priorities straight man!!!
After fish camp I have turkey hunting in mid-May... Speaking of which, Zumbo SCORES AGAIN! The weekend was a little fuzzy as I'm sure you can imagine, but I'm pretty sure this is how it goes... Thursday morning Zumbo has lots of paper work to do, so he packs it up and takes it to his turkey blind. As he's filling out form, Mr. Tom struts by... Zumbo drops him at about 45 yards... 45 YARDS!!! 24 lbs and a 9 inch beard... I think... Congrats Zumbo! I can't wait to get out there...
After the turkey hunt, we have to get the Sturgeon General married off at the end of the month. I gotta remember to write down my duties for that affair, as I kinda forgot/didn't know what I was asked to do for this weekend's party. It'll all work out though... It always does... Seems to me the Sturgeon General mentioned something about being the bus
"chaperone"... Talk about giving the guy with the gas can a box of matches!!! Woohoo...
Next thing you know, it'll be summer... I hope...
Anyone feel the earthquakes of the weekend? I did... but that could have been the Yaggy-Bombs talking too...
That's all I have time for... Next time I update I'll be working a new job!!! Can't wait... Before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy" - Danny McGoorty Irish Pool Player
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
April
7, 2008 - Jak se maj!!! Good morning and welcome back! Sorry about the lack of an update last week... I just never got around to it. Today I'm surprised to have time either, but you just gotta make time, right? Lets go!
Still a little tired this morning... The SEC-Transportation's Bach Party was Saturday and I went at it full force. Oh I had good intentions of behaving, but the beer really tasted good... So I had some... A LOT! So yesterday was a complete waste, but we sure did have a good time! Can't wait for the wedding!!!
You know, since Easter, I've had only one day that I avoided libations? Well, not counting yesterday, because I was still feeling the affects... I think its time to slow down... Well, maybe next month I'll slow down...
Thursday the SEC-State, FDA Chair, Sausage Stuffer and I head south to partake in a "clinical test". My favorite god-daughter is doing testing to assess the affect of pain on blood pressure and heart rate... Luckily, I was selected as a "control" so they weren't able to inflict any pain on me. What a bummer... BUT, we did go out after and had some GREAT
Mexican food. Well worth the trip, but I felt bad for the SEC-State driving home... He got to drive for 2 hours dealing with three guys in the car snoring...
Went out last Sunday for the FDA Chair's birthday. We hit the Mongolian Grill here in Green Bay. GOOD STUFF!!! Nothing like all you can eat... Now the FDA Chair and SEC-State are planning on building their own
Mongolian grill... That should be interesting!
Got this little number for our junior members... If they really study it, it should keep their feet on the floor and their hands in their pockets...
THINKING OF HAVING KIDS?
Do this 11 step program first!
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive) Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air. You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
Lesson 10 cracks me up...
How about this week's schedule? Not like I need a reason...
7 Robert Peary reaches the North Pole (1909). His provisions included a case of Guinness.
Ice cold Guinness.
8 International Feng Shui Awareness Day. Just think how much your personal energy would improve if you moved the beer in your fridge to your stomach.
A refrigerator of beer.
9 Hugh Hefner’s Birthday. Wear a smoking jacket to the bar. Champagne.
10 National Alcohol Screening Day. If you don’t have a cocktail strainer, you can screen it through your fingers.
Butterfinger
1 1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps
1 1/2 oz Bailey’s Irish Cream
2 oz milk
Pour butterscotch schnapps and Bailey’s over ice, top with milk, shake it up, screen into glass.
11 Barbershop Quartet Day. Hooch away the horror. Old Fashioned.
12 Walk on Your Wild Side Day. Visit a bar that doesn’t care for your type. Wild Turkey 101.
13 Thomas Jefferson’s Birthday (1743). Ran up $100,000 wine tab while in the White House.
American wine.
HEY! Friday night at The President's???? Luckily I'm busy that night...
Speaking of The President, its his birthday this week!!! Stop by and wish him well...
Watch any of the NCAA's? I did a little... Since they played Saturday night during the party, I didn't see too much, but enough... Not sure if I'll watch tonight or not... We'll see... Actually, I'm looking forward to The Frozen Four more...
On a more somber note, the FDA Chair's father-in-law passed away last week. Art was a great guy... He loved the Packers and Kingsbury, so that pretty much tells it all. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Carl and T and their family...
I better get going... I know there's more but I'm out of time... But before I go, a few words of wisdom for our junior members...
"I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you." Jeremy Grey (Wedding Crashers)
As Red would say, "Keep your stick on the ice!"
curtamous
Last Updated: Monday, May 05, 2008
Page Hits